September ends, we're finally entering the pinnacle of autumn! Not that September is a bad month or anything, but I was annoyed that most of it was still kind of warm. It's also been a hard month in some ways so I guess I'm sort of happy to see something new. By the way, this is the last monthly spread in my current planner so there's gonna no more monthly scans. More on the planner situation in the next few posts.
Goals
1. Job search cont.
Did all I could but no responses.
2. COTY26 Oct, Nov, Dec
Failed...
3. Working on In Orbit Ch. 1
Progress!
4. Titanfall 2 Anniv. sketch
No progress!
5. Watch 20+ movies
Total fail!
Best Of: September
Movies
Actually a terrible movie month. I literally watched nothing. Almost no new movies, and even not that many re-watches. No particularly strong stand-outs. So I guess if I had to pick it would be Disconnected, the documentary about a couple of college students going computer-free in 2007 or so. It follows such a seemingly mundane challenge that makes for great subject matter. If you like really weird time-capsule type movies this is a pretty great watch and it can be found on the Internet Archive.
TV Shows
I've been back to watching Buffy after a long pause and managed to finish season 3 and 4 super fast. Gonna miss Oz. Going to watch Angel season 1 before continuing since that is supposed to be watched alongside Buffy. Even though I hate Angel! I'm so over the mediocre dudes Buffy falls in love with. Faith is right there! Er, was, anyway...
Games
I started KOTOR for the 50th time, this time with the intent to actually finish the game. It's not a boring game at all but for some reason I always struggle to get to the actual end. However, I'm at a part in my life where I'm much more invested in the Old Republic era (probably my second favourite Star Wars era, after the Clone Wars of course). My brother is chilling beside me as I get through the game because he won't play either KOTOR or Jade Empire because they are 'too old'. Blasphemy! Also, I'm almost done with the first Apollo game in the Ace Attorney series.
Books
I read a bunch of manga and comics this month. Kuragehime was awesome but I'm still on volume 8. I did finish the short but excellent Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Promise. I used to avoid the Avatar comics because I thought there were so many but now that I actually checked the reading order it's not that intimidating!
Music
Didn't get to listen to much full albums this month but have been enjoying lots of drum and bass singles. I did listen to After's debut full-length album the day it was released this month. There were a bunch of songs that were instantly favourites, some I will have to listen to some more. I really like Take Me To Sunrise, Promise, Metal, Fitfully, Blind, Snowburn, and Fell Asleep In The Sun.
Animation
Argh, didn't watch any cartoon shows or anime this month again. Soon!
It's taken me really long to get to writing this post. It's been hard. This whole week was busy, freeloading, at some points it was even fun, but mostly it was about Noel's funeral. We knew it was coming but even when people say its bad and time is running out I don't think anyone ever really knows what that looks like. You believe it's gonna be ages, but then it goes by like a blink. He was a really good person, like, unquestionably. This was a bad week for the world. I don't have anything actually deep and interesting to say. The writing may seem a bit clinical but it's kind of how I cope and make sure the memories of people and things stay with me.
Week 39.
Monday and Tuesday was all sorts of random mundane tasks. Primarily job applications. I never looked down on fast food workers or anything, but I also never really saw myself applying to work there. I just assumed I'd have other spots to work that had slower traffic. Not the case anymore as I've finally applied to a McDonalds opening. Reminded me of that Patrick William Charlton vine, reflects much on my past of picking a career in the creative sector.
Wednesday we got the time and place for the funeral. I picked out an outfit. First I was gonna go with a simple black dress, then decided on a plain black top and a black and white floral skirt. New boots. Otherwise I've been feeling like it's really hard to work in my room. I realize I sometimes need a change of space to keep a good work ethic going but this has become impossible with a PC. The one true benefit of owning a laptop. So I'm still looking to pick one up on the cheap to do writing on the go whenever I want. Probably an old Vaio because I have serious nostalgia for those machines.
At about ten in the morning Monique picked us up to go to the funeral home. Everyone was outside. And it was a huge crowd. About half of them weren't wearing black, so I guess that's not a strict tradition. We spoke to some people, mostly new faces but some we have met before. We said hello to Pascal, Noel's wife. She was holding it together better than I ever imagine myself being able to.
We were allowed to see him before the closing of the casket. It was a small room and everyone took turns, separated by a divider. Seeing someone you like or know dead is not scary at all. They look like dolls. He looked like a doll. I thought this would fuel what I was thinking the week before: this isn't real. But it actually... well, I realized this is happening. He's gone. The only way he's still here is in the people he knew.
We went to a small little room with some pews, though the ceremony was not religious. I remember I asked Monique once if Noel believed in any religion, out of curiously. She said, 'no, he's an engineer!'. Hah! And a few people joked that he's gone to engineer heaven. Monique and Jean Louis both made amazing speeches. Then we watched a slideshow of some old photos. And some pretty recent too. There was one from when he helped us install the staircase for the third floor, can't find it right now though.
Afterwards we drove to a tiny chapel that's super close to their house. We passed it every day when we were working on the anti-flooding walls with him. We didn't go in it at all, we went by the casket and later it was lowered in a spot that was reserved for his family. He's not from here originally actually. He's got a Polish surname but his parents came here from Spain. I guess because of that too he had a soft-spot for us as well. Seriously, the generosity of this guy was boundless.
After, we walked the little distance left to their house. We helped Pascal serve some meats, cheeses, fruits, and vegetables. Everyone sat outside on an incredibly sunny day right by the river, reminiscing. There were so many people. And even later when I talked to my old teacher from the Red Cross who didn't know him said she heard that he passed recently. Basically, he's one of the people lost too soon, for stupid and avoidable reasons (his cancer was caused by chemicals from when he worked in construction thanks to careless higher-ups), and someone who will be missed by many. By all that he knew, I'd say. We miss him a lot.
Noel with Rene.
Noel with Monique.
Group photo!
I walked back from the funeral. The path we took often. Stopped by the thrift store and had a little chat with the guy manning the register. About Buffy.
Nothing much happened on Friday and the weekend. I was still waiting for a reply from work, but alas, it seems even McDonalds won't hire me. I'm getting really fucking annoyed.
The end.
I'm being negative, something will come up eventually. I just didn't imagine it would be so long and arduous. I thought they were giving out minimum-wage jobs like candy. That was the promise. That our generation was simply not taking them because we're so spoiled. Well, I'm here to report that is not the case...
This Week I'm Excited For...
I'm honestly so drained. Probably for October to start. It's usually a good month for me. Well, it's all up to chance these days. But the general atmosphere seems to add a little something-something at least.
Song Of The Week...
For some reason I went back to the Most Wanted songs again because I couldn't remember the Blade song that went 'you want it, want it'. It's awesome. And makes you feel cool and unstoppable, I needed some of that so... just an excellent track.
Long time no see. I'm working on catching the blog up to date but it's been a hell of a two weeks so it may take a little moment. And a lot of hassle. The week was actually going great. I got a lot of work done on the comic. I guess 'a lot' can be debated but there was work and some of it was in fact done. Had Tom come over for Saturday and we had so much fun. But we got really awful news on Sunday. So, it's taken me a long while to gather my thoughts and make my way here. Thanks for waiting on me.
Week 38.
Monday and Tuesday were very similar. Worked on the comic sketches. Started up my Buffy watching again, last I stopped Buffy was coming back to Sunnydale early in season 3. Everyone is literally way too mean to her, totally unjustifiable! And I just hate Xander so much... my hate for him knows no bounds.
Nap.
Changed up my desktop and browser to a more autumnal type of thing. I like to do little stuff like that in my digital spaces because I kind of have the same decor in my room throughout the year. And I prefer it like that, I think all that buying and replacing stuff when seasons change is wasteful. I'm not talking about people who collect season-specific decor they take out and re-use every year, I mean people who get new stuff every year. I don't know why I have so much beef with the concept. Well, it's because I was wanting to see some autumn vlogs or videos but all everyone is posting about is shopping. Argh... maybe I'll make my own. But I don't think I'd be good at it. We'll see...
Straight from the VAIO archives...
Also, don't mind the bookmark under 'Pussy Ranch', that's Diablo Cody's (of Jennifer's Body fame) old blog and I was curious to dig around it. I haven't started to archive pornos. Yet.
Also I've been planning out my room. Most of the walls are done and the floor is looking better. Minus the huge hole where the ladder used to be. No big. I'm gonna make a sketch next or next next week and I'd love to hear people's thoughts on the matter. I love moving in, don't love moving out. Love moving furniture too and haven't had a room big enough in a while to do that.
Wednesday we went to Tom's for a sudden dinner. We met two of his uni friends, Margot and Omar. They were super sweet and we had a good time playing some Soul Calibur before we had a super tasty appetizer (salmon and avocado!) and a sausage-cream spaghetti dish. And flan for dessert. Also I'm glad I don't have to secretively listen to Thrift Shop anymore now that Macklemore is even more cool and progressive than before assumed. I'm not super into the rest of his music but people used to really dunk on me for liking Thrift Shop. Well, it slaps!
On Thursday my sister was re-dying her hair and I used what was little of the black to give myself some Xtina-style stripes. It did not work at all and I ran out of the dye so fast.
Salon quality service.
Friday we went to Monique's to move some boxes for her and to cut some logs. We also saw the two kittens that got surgery recently for the removal of an infected eye each. They both look very cool and are living normally, the surgery was luckily done in time and the infection didn't spread further. I also listened to the new/debut After album in the morning, it's awesome! A moodier entry, for sure. Perfect for the season. Pics from my walk back home:
The weather was super pretty.
On Saturday, we had an awesome day. Tom came over and we started in on nailing down the details for his OCs so I could draw them eventually. I'm glad Tom was happy with the sketches because I was not feeling sure at all. Once we were done with that we decided to watch Treasure Planet because he hasn't seen it before.
Treasure Planet is fundamental to my whole being. It's the first movie I remember watching over and over. The first time I saw it we had to go to a rental place and pick it up on VHS. I actually don't remember having VHS tapes after this one but because of Treasure Planet I was pretty well-versed on operating our player. The world is the center piece of this movie: fantastical, sort-of dark, and just totally unique. Every time I picture something completely ethereal I always come back to Treasure Planet.
Tom totally loved it because he didn't talk during the movie at all. This is a new for him, he usually cannot shut the fuck up. Obviously like most dude-enjoying teen girls he was obsessed with Jim and I'm glad he got to experience that teenage whimsy for a moment. They just don't make them like this anymore...We watched Luca as well, which he also hadn't seen.
Organized this little box I have to keep all my letter stuff. You'd think I'm a serial penpal with all this paper material I own. Nope!
Ta-da!
From the 10 comic pages I tried to finish I only managed 5 which is honestly still pretty good. They take between an hour and two hours each. Except these are just preliminary sketches. I don't think it's gonna go sketch 1 straight to lineart. It will probably be sketch 1, then sketch 2 (maybe even sketch 3), and then lineart. The trouble right now is I still haven't finished the thumbnails and I really need to do that to know how many actual pages there's gonna be.
Sketches so far.
Sunday morning we got the awful news, Noel passed away at the hospital on Saturday night. It doesn't feel real still. You know, for the longest time, when we were working with him, his cough would come and go. And we'd be so stupid and naive, like, oh, he's been coughing less. He's been doing better. But terminal is terminal. It's just no fair and it's bullshit and it was so fast. We're going to the funeral next week.
The end.
I'm not feeling much with the news of Noel. Just stressed and sad. It doesn't feel real. That's all I have going through my mind.
This Week I'm Excited For...
Not excited at all. Just wanting to... say goodbye to Noel at his funeral since we didn't have time to say goodbye before he passed. I'm nervous and depressed about it but I want to say goodbye next week.
Song Of The Week...
Enjoyed the debut After album, many good tracks but I think I enjoyed Metal the most. Just very clear, like breaking through water. Feels freeing.
Hey, everyone. Been having a lot of peculiar thoughts these past few weeks. For once I'm seeing gradual changes that are kind of positive. I'm always trying to just... be a different person with a different routine starting tomorrow every day, it's been like 20,000 tomorrows and nothing happened. Trying not to jinx anything but outside of job search troubles the comic is coming along (behind schedule but it is actually happening). I'm not super late to anything right now, this could change but I'm not gonna panic. I think.
Week 37.
Typical start to the week. Nothing to report. I watched Stavros' stand-up special on Tuesday and had a good laugh. I think I first saw him on Hasan's stream a year ago or something like that, he's the second funniest guy to be on the stream for sure, losing out by a little to Adam Friedland. Also directed by Matt Johnson which may have you asking: how the fuck does that do anything for a stand-up show? Well, you may not believe me but there's some Nirvanna staples there (flashback that isn't what actually happened at all, a classic).
So between the laughs Stav does drop a little wisdom, it's simple really: be fun. Straight forward. The analogy is like, both Italy and Germany were fascists (and are again, how quaint...) but one of the two is thought of more fondly now due to generally better vibes. It's not Germany. Outside of that it just really made me think that... I'm not a fun person anymore. Maybe I never really was, but there was a time when people did gravitate towards me and I was surprised honestly but yeah, at some point I was a good time. And now I avoid fun like the plague. Isn't that weird? Maybe that will be my new unattainable goal outside of fighting irrational fear: be fun.
Nothing much on Wednesday. The room is starting to get way too messy.
Thursday sucked because my period started, not as bad as last month but the first day is always the worst. Also, my three day period somehow turned into a four day period and I think that's some bullshit on the behalf of nature. We're not getting any more pregnant here.
After taking a doctor-approved amount of nurofen I stayed in bed with my hot water bottle and finally watched the 2008 documentary Disconnected about three students in Carleton College who chose to go computer-free for as long as they can. And I think everyone with the exception of Caitlin did not make it. Chel ended up using his girlfriend as a proxy (and I think that counts as cheating) and Andrew ended up needing to use one to finish some assignments for his Chinese class work. It's honestly so funny because I think most people consider 2008 to be a part of the 'healthy' internet era, this of course can be debated and the first signs of the present algorithmic hell were already appearing. But yeah, these college kids already talk about how functionally impossible it is to be without a computer back then, is it literally impossible now? I first started using the internet in 2008 and it was only a fragment of my day. Now it's like my entire life. I don't hate that: I do creative shit on my computer but I do tend to get so easily distracted too. I used to be able to get a lot more done.
I also started playing KOTOR again, this time I'm actually going to finish the game. I don't know why but I've been struggling to actually finish the game for years. It's getting stupid.
I love old CG Taris so much...
Friday I've been thinking about the lineart for the comic. I can't decide between very smooth and bold and textured and sketchy. I'm indecisive as hell about this.
Apartment living.
On Saturday I finally reached G17.00 on Titanfall 2, I've been playing for an hour or two during my evenings when the servers are not cosmically fucked. I'm gonna try to get G18.00 by the end of October, G19.00 by the end of November, and G20.00 by the end of the year. At this rate I'll be G100.49 in 2034 at the age of 35! Jesus Christ...
New box found.
So handsome!
Been reading more comics recently too. The Nameless City trilogy arrived, I'll probably post some more on that on the other blog. The comic I really, really want is Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong also by Hicks but me and it have a history. I've ordered it twice from Ebay and both times it did not arrive: once it went to the wrong country and the other time it just ceased to exist sometime during the delivery. I'm still depressed. Third times the charm? Just buy the ebook, right? No! I need that shit in my hands!!
Ignore the flashbang.
Quite a bit of writing done on Sunday. High fives all around! Been thinking about how much I want to pre-order the debut After album but I can't because of the delivery. It's just so expensive and I'm trying to save up since I haven't been called back to the farm as of now and am still looking for work. Harvest season soon fortunately but who knows... once I secure that job I'll splash out and get all my favourite CDs. I wish.
The end.
There were a few warm days and it was ass but since then the temps have really, finally dropped. Long PJ pants are back in, life is gonna be okay!
This Week I'm Excited For...
Well, the After debut album, Fell Asleep in The Sun. It's gonna be out on the 18th, I'm pretty sure, so I'll listen to it on YouTube then. I love all the singles, especially Blind.
Song Of The Week...
Been thinking about Elliott Smith's King's Crossing all week. Some of the best lyrics put to music ever: "give me one good reason not to do it (because I love you), so do it." Some say it's his best song and that is probably true so all the Basement haters, what are you on about? I think people always have beef with production but I genuinely don't give a fuck. Half of Molina's work was probably recorded on a fucking radio transceiver from WWII with the way it sounds and it doesn't take away from the craft whatsoever. I have the same feeling with Basement.
The mood? Bad. What a wack start to the blog! I don't know why I've been feeling so...solemn. Autumn finally started and so far it's been almost everything that I wanted, nay, needed! It's below 30 most days which is instantly better than all of August. But somehow I find myself in a slump. I'm doing all the usual: comic stuff, searching for work, browsing the web, watching movies and playing games. I even hang out with people nearly every week and still feel like total gloom. Maybe it's because everything is so stationary or maybe it's just a seasonal transition.
Week 36.
Monday was officially the last day of summer. Woohoo! Long time coming. All is normal. Me and Mo finally finished A Knight's Tale which was pretty hilarious.
Tuesday was the first day of September. My sister had an orientation day at her new costume-making high school. Literally everyone we know called this school the most broke and ghetto school in the city and I seriously do not get it. It's a very nice school! I think because it's not a 'général', the typical high school for languages and sciences that's more esteemed. The one my sister got into is a professional (technologique) high school, so they study a trade straight away and it's looked down upon by many. Surprising because if there's one thing we learnt is that the AI overlords will surely replace the managerial class faster than plumbers, builders, seamstresses, etc. Ah, well, we're all pretty dumb in the family and art-oriented so it never bothered us. The smart genes ended with grandpa who was a nuclear physicist.
Did not stray from the routine much on Wednesday or Thursday.
Friday I did a closet clean-out to pack my summer stuff away. Used that time to upload more of my stuff to Whering which is what I'm using now for my closet management stuff. I don't actually have so much stuff that I can't keep track of it or anything, I just enjoy the little Polyvore style pictures and the fact that others can style me via the app. That was totally missing from the one I used before... it was so bad I can't even remember what it was called. Anyway, used the clean-up to do a little photoshoot as I've received some styled looks from other users.
On Saturday we were supposed to do a double feature of Sinbad and Treasure Planet with Tom and he swore we'd do both (I sat through both Frozens for him) but as I foretold he weaseled out of the second movie. Sinbad is one of the best animated movies ever and so underrated. We played a little Modern Warfare 3 and then he went home. He's also having problem in the job searching area and he has qualifications and is French, what chances do I stand?
She drinks water like this.
On Sunday I did an awful thing. A thing I swore I wouldn't do! I swore I wouldn't get distracted with the most random bullshit creative tasks that take away time from my comic... but alas. It was getting to the point that this mini-project was so annoyingly lodged in my head that I had to put it out there and in a manic fugue state I finished the whole thing on Sunday: the quiz directory!
Here it is...
This was a silly endeavor because first of all, no one but me cares enough about online quizzes to make or join a directory, and second... I'm just making more work for myself as usual and later complaining. Okay, but I am glad it's done through because it was getting too hectic up there in my brain!
The end.
This Week I'm Excited For...
Someone was selling all three volumes of the Nameless City trilogy on Leboncoin for just 20 euros! I decided to get it for myself to finally start my Faith Erin Hicks collection. They should arrive next week and I'm super excited!
Song Of The Week...
This is my year of electronica. So much drum and bass, downtempo, house, etc. I'm just getting deeper and deeper into the genre and I love it. This week it's Source Direct's Secret Liaison, an 8-minute drum and bass trip with some glorious guitar licks and ethereal vocalizations. It's so good.
At last, it is autumn! Also this will be my last month in my current planner and probably the last of my planner on the blog in general. Some more on my planner stuff in the blogs, for anyone who's also into journaling and stuff like that. For now... goodbye, sweet prince!
