Funeral {Week 39}

It's taken me really long to get to writing this post. It's been hard. This whole week was busy, freeloading, at some points it was even fun, but mostly it was about Noel's funeral. We knew it was coming but even when people say its bad and time is running out I don't think anyone ever really knows what that looks like. You believe it's gonna be ages, but then it goes by like a blink. He was a really good person, like, unquestionably. This was a bad week for the world. I don't have anything actually deep and interesting to say. The writing may seem a bit clinical but it's kind of how I cope and make sure the memories of people and things stay with me.

Week 39.

Monday and Tuesday was all sorts of random mundane tasks. Primarily job applications. I never looked down on fast food workers or anything, but I also never really saw myself applying to work there. I just assumed I'd have other spots to work that had slower traffic. Not the case anymore as I've finally applied to a McDonalds opening. Reminded me of that Patrick William Charlton vine, reflects much on my past of picking a career in the creative sector.

Wednesday we got the time and place for the funeral. I picked out an outfit. First I was gonna go with a simple black dress, then decided on a plain black top and a black and white floral skirt. New boots. Otherwise I've been feeling like it's really hard to work in my room. I realize I sometimes need a change of space to keep a good work ethic going but this has become impossible with a PC. The one true benefit of owning a laptop. So I'm still looking to pick one up on the cheap to do writing on the go whenever I want. Probably an old Vaio because I have serious nostalgia for those machines.

At about ten in the morning Monique picked us up to go to the funeral home. Everyone was outside. And it was a huge crowd. About half of them weren't wearing black, so I guess that's not a strict tradition. We spoke to some people, mostly new faces but some we have met before. We said hello to Pascal, Noel's wife. She was holding it together better than I ever imagine myself being able to.

We were allowed to see him before the closing of the casket. It was a small room and everyone took turns, separated by a divider. Seeing someone you like or know dead is not scary at all. They look like dolls. He looked like a doll. I thought this would fuel what I was thinking the week before: this isn't real. But it actually... well, I realized this is happening. He's gone. The only way he's still here is in the people he knew.

We went to a small little room with some pews, though the ceremony was not religious. I remember I asked Monique once if Noel believed in any religion, out of curiously. She said, 'no, he's an engineer!'. Hah! And a few people joked that he's gone to engineer heaven. Monique and Jean Louis both made amazing speeches. Then we watched a slideshow of some old photos. And some pretty recent too. There was one from when he helped us install the staircase for the third floor, can't find it right now though.

Afterwards we drove to a tiny chapel that's super close to their house. We passed it every day when we were working on the anti-flooding walls with him. We didn't go in it at all, we went by the casket and later it was lowered in a spot that was reserved for his family. He's not from here originally actually. He's got a Polish surname but his parents came here from Spain. I guess because of that too he had a soft-spot for us as well. Seriously, the generosity of this guy was boundless.

After, we walked the little distance left to their house. We helped Pascal serve some meats, cheeses, fruits, and vegetables. Everyone sat outside on an incredibly sunny day right by the river, reminiscing. There were so many people. And even later when I talked to my old teacher from the Red Cross who didn't know him said she heard that he passed recently. Basically, he's one of the people lost too soon, for stupid and avoidable reasons (his cancer was caused by chemicals from when he worked in construction thanks to careless higher-ups), and someone who will be missed by many. By all that he knew, I'd say. We miss him a lot.

Noel with Rene.

Noel with Monique.

Group photo!

I walked back from the funeral. The path we took often. Stopped by the thrift store and had a little chat with the guy manning the register. About Buffy. 

Nothing much happened on Friday and the weekend. I was still waiting for a reply from work, but alas, it seems even McDonalds won't hire me. I'm getting really fucking annoyed. 

The end.

I'm being negative, something will come up eventually. I just didn't imagine it would be so long and arduous. I thought they were giving out minimum-wage jobs like candy. That was the promise. That our generation was simply not taking them because we're so spoiled. Well, I'm here to report that is not the case... 

This Week I'm Excited For...

I'm honestly so drained. Probably for October to start. It's usually a good month for me. Well, it's all up to chance these days. But the general atmosphere seems to add a little something-something at least.

Song Of The Week... 

For some reason I went back to the Most Wanted songs again because I couldn't remember the Blade song that went 'you want it, want it'. It's awesome. And makes you feel cool and unstoppable, I needed some of that so... just an excellent track.