Be Fun {Week 37}

Hey, everyone. Been having a lot of peculiar thoughts these past few weeks. For once I'm seeing gradual changes that are kind of positive. I'm always trying to just... be a different person with a different routine starting tomorrow every day, it's been like 20,000 tomorrows and nothing happened. Trying not to jinx anything but outside of job search troubles the comic is coming along (behind schedule but it is actually happening). I'm not super late to anything right now, this could change but I'm not gonna panic. I think. 

Week 37.

Typical start to the week. Nothing to report. I watched Stavros' stand-up special on Tuesday and had a good laugh. I think I first saw him on Hasan's stream a year ago or something like that, he's the second funniest guy to be on the stream for sure, losing out by a little to Adam Friedland. Also directed by Matt Johnson which may have you asking: how the fuck does that do anything for a stand-up show? Well, you may not believe me but there's some Nirvanna staples there (flashback that isn't what actually happened at all, a classic). 

So between the laughs Stav does drop a little wisdom, it's simple really: be fun. Straight forward. The analogy is like, both Italy and Germany were fascists (and are again, how quaint...) but one of the two is thought of more fondly now due to generally better vibes. It's not Germany. Outside of that it just really made me think that... I'm not a fun person anymore. Maybe I never really was, but there was a time when people did gravitate towards me and I was surprised honestly but yeah, at some point I was a good time. And now I avoid fun like the plague. Isn't that weird? Maybe that will be my new unattainable goal outside of fighting irrational fear: be fun.

Nothing much on Wednesday. The room is starting to get way too messy. 

Thursday sucked because my period started, not as bad as last month but the first day is always the worst. Also, my three day period somehow turned into a four day period and I think that's some bullshit on the behalf of nature. We're not getting any more pregnant here. 

After taking a doctor-approved amount of nurofen I stayed in bed with my hot water bottle and finally watched the 2008 documentary Disconnected about three students in Carleton College who chose to go computer-free for as long as they can. And I think everyone with the exception of Caitlin did not make it. Chel ended up using his girlfriend as a proxy (and I think that counts as cheating) and Andrew ended up needing to use one to finish some assignments for his Chinese class work. It's honestly so funny because I think most people consider 2008 to be a part of the 'healthy' internet era, this of course can be debated and the first signs of the present algorithmic hell were already appearing. But yeah, these college kids already talk about how functionally impossible it is to be without a computer back then, is it literally impossible now? I first started using the internet in 2008 and it was only a fragment of my day. Now it's like my entire life. I don't hate that: I do creative shit on my computer but I do tend to get so easily distracted too. I used to be able to get a lot more done. 

I also started playing KOTOR again, this time I'm actually going to finish the game. I don't know why but I've been struggling to actually finish the game for years. It's getting stupid.

I love old CG Taris so much...

Friday I've been thinking about the lineart for the comic. I can't decide between very smooth and bold and textured and sketchy. I'm indecisive as hell about this.

Apartment living.

On Saturday I finally reached G17.00 on Titanfall 2, I've been playing for an hour or two during my evenings when the servers are not cosmically fucked. I'm gonna try to get G18.00 by the end of October, G19.00 by the end of November, and G20.00 by the end of the year. At this rate I'll be G100.49 in 2034 at the age of 35! Jesus Christ...

New box found.

So handsome!

Been reading more comics recently too. The Nameless City trilogy arrived, I'll probably post some more on that on the other blog. The comic I really, really want is Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong also by Hicks but me and it have a history. I've ordered it twice from Ebay and both times it did not arrive: once it went to the wrong country and the other time it just ceased to exist sometime during the delivery. I'm still depressed. Third times the charm? Just buy the ebook, right? No! I need that shit in my hands!!

Ignore the flashbang.

Quite a bit of writing done on Sunday. High fives all around! Been thinking about how much I want to pre-order the debut After album but I can't because of the delivery. It's just so expensive and I'm trying to save up since I haven't been called back to the farm as of now and am still looking for work. Harvest season soon fortunately but who knows... once I secure that job I'll splash out and get all my favourite CDs. I wish.

The end.

There were a few warm days and it was ass but since then the temps have really, finally dropped. Long PJ pants are back in, life is gonna be okay! 

This Week I'm Excited For...

Well, the After debut album, Fell Asleep in The Sun. It's gonna be out on the 18th, I'm pretty sure, so I'll listen to it on YouTube then. I love all the singles, especially Blind.

Song Of The Week... 

Been thinking about Elliott Smith's King's Crossing all week. Some of the best lyrics put to music ever: "give me one good reason not to do it (because I love you), so do it." Some say it's his best song and that is probably true so all the Basement haters, what are you on about? I think people always have beef with production but I genuinely don't give a fuck. Half of Molina's work was probably recorded on a fucking radio transceiver from WWII with the way it sounds and it doesn't take away from the craft whatsoever. I have the same feeling with Basement.

Let's Get Quiz-ical {Week 36}

The mood? Bad. What a wack start to the blog! I don't know why I've been feeling so...solemn. Autumn finally started and so far it's been almost everything that I wanted, nay, needed! It's below 30 most days which is instantly better than all of August. But somehow I find myself in a slump. I'm doing all the usual: comic stuff, searching for work, browsing the web, watching movies and playing games. I even hang out with people nearly every week and still feel like total gloom. Maybe it's because everything is so stationary or maybe it's just a seasonal transition.

Week 36.

Monday was officially the last day of summer. Woohoo! Long time coming. All is normal. Me and Mo finally finished A Knight's Tale which was pretty hilarious.

Tuesday was the first day of September. My sister had an orientation day at her new costume-making high school. Literally everyone we know called this school the most broke and ghetto school in the city and I seriously do not get it. It's a very nice school! I think because it's not a 'général', the typical high school for languages and sciences that's more esteemed. The one my sister got into is a professional (technologique) high school, so they study a trade straight away and it's looked down upon by many. Surprising because if there's one thing we learnt is that the AI overlords will surely replace the managerial class faster than plumbers, builders, seamstresses, etc. Ah, well, we're all pretty dumb in the family and art-oriented so it never bothered us. The smart genes ended with grandpa who was a nuclear physicist. 

Did not stray from the routine much on Wednesday or Thursday. 

Friday I did a closet clean-out to pack my summer stuff away. Used that time to upload more of my stuff to Whering which is what I'm using now for my closet management stuff. I don't actually have so much stuff that I can't keep track of it or anything, I just enjoy the little Polyvore style pictures and the fact that others can style me via the app. That was totally missing from the one I used before... it was so bad I can't even remember what it was called. Anyway, used the clean-up to do a little photoshoot as I've received some styled looks from other users.

On Saturday we were supposed to do a double feature of Sinbad and Treasure Planet with Tom and he swore we'd do both (I sat through both Frozens for him) but as I foretold he weaseled out of the second movie. Sinbad is one of the best animated movies ever and so underrated. We played a little Modern Warfare 3 and then he went home. He's also having problem in the job searching area and he has qualifications and is French, what chances do I stand?

She drinks water like this.

On Sunday I did an awful thing. A thing I swore I wouldn't do! I swore I wouldn't get distracted with the most random bullshit creative tasks that take away time from my comic... but alas. It was getting to the point that this mini-project was so annoyingly lodged in my head that I had to put it out there and in a manic fugue state I finished the whole thing on Sunday: the quiz directory! 

Here it is...

This was a silly endeavor because first of all, no one but me cares enough about online quizzes to make or join a directory, and second... I'm just making more work for myself as usual and later complaining. Okay, but I am glad it's done through because it was getting too hectic up there in my brain!

The end.

This Week I'm Excited For...

Someone was selling all three volumes of the Nameless City trilogy on Leboncoin for just 20 euros! I decided to get it for myself to finally start my Faith Erin Hicks collection. They should arrive next week and I'm super excited!

Song Of The Week... 

This is my year of electronica. So much drum and bass, downtempo, house, etc. I'm just getting deeper and deeper into the genre and I love it. This week it's Source Direct's Secret Liaison, an 8-minute drum and bass trip with some glorious guitar licks and ethereal vocalizations. It's so good.

{September 2026 Start}

At last, it is autumn! Also this will be my last month in my current planner and probably the last of my planner on the blog in general. Some more on my planner stuff in the blogs, for anyone who's also into journaling and stuff like that. For now... goodbye, sweet prince!

Goals 

 1. Job search cont.

2. COTY26 Oct, Nov, Dec

3. Working on In Orbit Ch. 1

4. Titanfall 2 Anniv. sketch

5. Watch 20+ movies

{August 2026 End}

Another summer is over. August was a weird month. Busy and fast one moment, empty and endless another. I guess I'm glad that it's over.

Goals 

 1. Order new tablet (Huion Kamvas Pro 16 V2)

Yes! Saved up enough since the start of the year, it's finally here. And she's perfect! 

2. In Orbit Sketch Pages 1-10

Re-doing the script because some integral moments were not working. 

3. Summer zine with Alice 3: Electric Boogal-y

Finished the fashion and movies pages. 

4. Finish COTY 2026 spreads

Still have October, November, and December left... but I did finish September! 

5. Beginner JS course videos

Nope. 

6. Titanfall 2 Anniversary sketch

Just some very preliminary sketches. 

7. Fix PSP thumbstick 

Forgot to do it... 

Best Of: July

 

Movies 

This has been a disaster month for movies. I watched basically nothing. My disappointment is immeasurable and my month is ruined. The number wasn't zero though! I guess I enjoyed A Knight's Tale the most because it's just a dumb, fun movie.

TV Shows

We watched the first season of Parts Unknown which was great. My favourite episode was probably Quebec because the food was... it was unhinged. Those motherfuckers were eating, dude! We are also coming close to the end of season 3 of Silo, it should wrap up on the first Friday of September. GIF not from Parts Unknown, just a great GIF. 

Games

 

Titanfall 2 on my own after that dumbass troll was finally dealt with. I know, I know, I could just download Northstar. But I don't wanna be totally obliterated by sweats and G100s every waking moment. I'm shit at the game and I know it. However, me and Tom also started Saints Row The Third (the remastered version). I don't love the remaster, I think it wipes clean all the charm of the original game which is my childhood staple. But it's still fun, especially in co-op.

Books 

Currently reading two non-fiction books: Right Wing Women by Andrea Dworkin and Drug Cartels Do No Exist by Oswaldo Zavala. I know that Dworkin is a very controversial figure and there's much I do not agree on with her but the topic is incredibly interesting, and devastatingly sad. I think TERFs have seriously co-opted her views on feminism and gender identity. Her own words on trans women may be outdated but they are not exclusionary. In fact, I think all she has to say about sexism applies as much to trans women, with extra bigotry on the side in the flavour of transphobia of course, which makes them women as any woman is. Regardless, to me trans women will always be women and I'm more interested in her work regarding why women often chose that which is inherently hostile, if not fatal, to themselves. I'm very early into Zavala's book but it's already very promising.

Finally finished Faith Erin Hicks' Nameless City trilogy. It's not long or anything, I'm just an idiot. It's awesome, I love her work so much. 

Music  

Unlike with movies, this has been an awesome month for music. I'm tempted to pick one of the many Elliott Smith albums I've been listening to this month but I feel like I should go with something that was actually, truly new to me this month. So, it's gotta be La Dispute's Wildlife at the recommendation of Alice. Rooms felt more morose, kind of like thinking back to an incident of horrific tragedy in a more well-adjusted present light. Wildlife feels like the it's happening to you right now, like you're in a car crash in slow motion and you can't get out of the car.

Animation

Watched some animated films this month but no 'toons or anime. This is getting sad.

Full Log: August 2026 

This Is Not My Life {Week 35}

This is gonna be a pretty boring post. Not much happened this week and I've been feeling kind of shitty. Be warned, this is a short, terrible, and self-pitying as hell entry. Don't really like lying though so I'll keep it as is. Maybe tone down the gruesome details a little bit. 

I'm still fundamentally okay, just hitting the most expected speed bump ever. Seems like the road I'm on has no shortage of those. Honestly, I don't know why I'm bitching when I know how many people have it harder but I guess bitching does ease the stress some. Very whiny blog, man. I'm very whiny! 

Week 35.

Been busy scanning all my notebooks in my spare time so I did that on Monday. I've been meaning to in case something happens to them, at least I'll have digital copies. Plus I can pack them up and put them upstairs for now so they don' take up much space. 

Tuesday I scanned some of the physical photos I have. Went down memory lane a little too much, maybe. 

The year is 2006...

Or maybe I've just been having a really shit week. I've watched way too much YouTube all week, like -make-you-sick amounts. And gained nothing from it. Wish I had a better way to keep something on in the background or when I have a free 20 minutes or something. YouTube's just really been eating away at my time and energy. So just quit! I want to. 

On Wednesday my sister's friend was over and she taught us to play Rummy. As with all card games, I didn't get it for like 10 minutes straight until it somehow magically clicked! I don't Mo ever got it and kept cheating and sneaking tiles onto my sister's rack.

Thursday I did some sanding on the third floor. The good news is that soon I may be able to move into my actual room. Do whatever I want to it! Kind of stupid to be this excited for something like that at my age of 27 but I honestly don't care at this point. I'll start doing some sketches on furniture placement and all and hopefully some fellow bloggers can give me a little feng-shui input.

Luckily the Titanfall 2 servers are back so I've been partaking in some matches in the evenings. Friday, saw some of the GTAVI footage, not from the leaker this time. It looks awesome but I'm not gonna give Rockstar any money ever. Maybe when they stop firing unionized employees. 

Totally passed out.

Did some more sanding upstairs on Saturday. My sister had a sleepover with her friends, we played a bunch of board games then left them to their own devices. Though I could hear these loud motherfuckers until like 5AM. Some classics were had at this sleepover: truth or date (with a prank call!) and a Jennifer's Body watch. 

On Sunday I finally reached an acceptable stage in my digital file management. This has been a long time issue for me, makes working on anything a struggle. It hasn't solved everything but it feels like my mind's a little more at ease now. 

Awful news in the world of emo, horrible things came out about the lead singer of Say Anything this week. Specifically grooming and predatory messages to underage girls. Not surprising, cuz men. I did realize I don't like a single Say Anything song. They suck. But that's not really relevant, because there's been bands who do make good music such as Brand New who also turn out to have just real pieces of shit there. I know it's hard not to sort of  'idolize' people who make great movies, music, or whatever but we shouldn't. Because we don't actually know these people. Especially if it means defending them when their victims are right there. I say that but I still hold my favourite musicians in high regard and just cross my fingers they haven't fucked someone over. I just hope that Cedric Bixler-Zavala's biggest crime was that he was dumb enough to fall for Scientology (which he left) and that Jeremy Enigk's biggest crime is that he's bald. But who knows, right? 

The end.

But basically I've been so... defective this week. Extra defective. I write distracted, slowly trying some more job applications but the options are quickly growing thin locally. The last thing I want is remote work again but honestly I feel like I'm dry on choice here. I just want this to work out already. I'm not a proactive person at all but there are times when I give it my all and try, there's still waiting on waiting on waiting. I'm a broken record at this point... 

This Week I'm Excited For...

I'm in such a bad mood it feels like I'm not excited for anything. But I guess it's probably for the 1st of September, the coming of autumn. Autumn always soothes my worries though I'm having a sixth sense feeling that this autumn is gonna suck big time.

Song Of The Week... 

The one thing that has been great for the past few weeks is the music. I've been on a kick of new stuff via La Dispute and my old favourites through Elliott Smith. Re-listened to his entire disco throughout August. Surprisingly that is not the source of my melancholy recently. This week I'm picking one of my all time favourite's, A Fond Farewell of the posthumous From A Basement On A Hill. Just a plainly amazing chorus and imagery that's prickly and devastating: "This is not my life, it's just a fond farewell to a friend."