Birthday Week {Week 15}

A whole second birthday on the blog. Woohoo! Yes, this Monday I turned 27. So old! Or so young? Who gives a shit! Getting older has become meaningless to me. I no longer feel shame, ambition, drive, or despair. No rat race, no career plan, no inconceivable get-rich-quick schemes, and bigger than life missions.

The inevitability of death has reached total saturation and cannot be anymore inevitable than it is now. This calls for celebration. Have a fizzy beverage of your choice in my honor, please.

Week 15.

I had a pretty excellent week. It started with the aforementioned birthday. I got a raspberry pie first thing in the morning with some coffee. Because of Easter, everything was closed so we decided to stay home and have some burgers. I saw that Taskmaster was coming back for another season so I wanted to watch some of the earlier seasons with my mum and brother. For lunch we had burgers and my fave lemonade. The only thing I wish I did was watch a movie because it's been a bit of a tradition for a while but by the end of the day I was too tired. No gifts, we're all saving for that damn Huion.

Got lovely messages from friends, family, and even Neo mutuals and neighbors! You are all the sweetest people in the world. 

Shigeo who lives at Gran's.

On Tuesday it was borderline impossible to get up for work. Still, I did and we went out into the field only this day was not like the others... the sun was beating us down. We had maybe two hours of relative cool before it was at it's peak and blistering out of nowhere. We are... not built for this kind of weather. My brother was on edge since the morning and we were sniping and bitching at each other all day. Like non-stop. Anyway once we got home it was pretty easy to deduce what it was likely because of heatstroke or something. I am 100% the fat kid that dies first in a Lord of the Flies situation, like I cannot stand the heat at all and will become paranoid and insane. We were both acting completely deranged and paranoid and taking any comment as if it was a slight... until we cooled off, literally.

Better prepared for Wednesday, we actually brought our hats, me and Mo realized way too many days in that we can listen to the same stuff with his shitty earpods. We listened to a bunch of the GTAV stations, with ads of course. The day went much better. It got even better when I got home and settled in for a movie. For a few years now I was meaning to watch Dog Day Afternoon and finally I did.

Holy shit! It's a masterpiece. If ya haven't seen it, go in blind right now and watch it, I beg of you. I don't even wanna say anything. Wow, a perfect movie for me. Just a perfect movie, all in all.

Me lying at the job interview.

On Thursday my mum and Mo went to help a family friend with some stuff while I went to Monique's to set up her new printer. It sort of worked at first until it randomly disconnected and wouldn't print. I restarted her laptop and it went into a loop of rebooting and crashing for up to an hour. Mission failed, we'll get them next time. She'll probably have to take it to a repair shop sadly.

Friday was even better. The tablet pen came in. Victory, at last! 

Look who's back...

I also had a day off and decided to watch another movie with Al Pacino because he was fucking phenomenal in Dog Day Afternoon. And guess where else he was amazing? ...And Justice For All. With Christine Lahti too, who I loved so much in Housekeeping. I think about that movie often. Now this one too. The ending is so cathartic. The parking lot scene... man, I had tears in my eyes, I laughed, I fucking got so mad. Please, if you've seen this movie email me, message me, comment here, send me a letter, meet me at the corner store: we need to talk, and a lot.

I'm at my fucking limit.

On my mum's and Mo's way back from the friend's house they stopped by at a thrift store and my brother got himself the ugliest piece of decor known to man. I like Che Guevara and Cuba a lot but... graphic design was their passion it seems. 

I hate this.

On Saturday we went into work again, we've mostly been doing fertilizers this week. With little shot glasses and a 600 kilo bag of ammonium nitrate leaning like the tower of Pisa at the back of the tractor. All I'm saying is I feel like there's probably been some technological advancements in the past few decades that could have made this task a little bit more practical but since this is the south of France why bother? Yeah, we're doing it very old school here.

Way home.

It was all worth it in the end because I actually did get one present for my birthday. A full-body Thai massage with hot oil! I love massages, it's probably the only time I'm not averse to strangers touching me. I met Madame Kess after work and she did my massage for an hour at the local parlor/Thai restaurant. I think I saw God and she may be an angel. I got home and finally dropped onto the couch at around 6PM.

Because I'm insane and can watch the same movie basically the following day again, I put Dog Day Afternoon on for everyone in the evening time. I got the usual... 'it's the 70s? Like when they didn't have cars yet?' spiel from the two idiots born after the year 2000 (says me, hah!) but even my chronically online sister was into the movie. Didn't stop her from dropping a sarcastic 'wow, look at that, no one's on their phones' in the opening scene but we'll forgive it. 

On Sunday I was watching the Godfather. I'm officially making it Al Pacino April, friends. I have these very bizarre memories of my dad making me watch this as a kid for some reason and apparently he did that to my brother too. Don't really know what that's about. Instructions on what to do if he gets shot at? What? I didn't finish it because everyone wanted to watch a movie together. And so I put on ... And Justice For All on for everyone and watched it again. I know it may seem psychotic to just loop stuff like that right after you've seen it but me and movies have a very weird relationship like that. It doesn't feel like a waste, or repetitive, or the same thing. It always feels new in some way. I can't explain it. I just know that I need to come back, and soon.

And so the week ended. I've got more work and some meetings come next week. Not excited, not excited. But living.

The end!

This Week I'm Excited For...

To get paid. We got our first paycheck on Sunday. Like, a literal check. I have to bring it into the bank and do all that and then wait ages for it to actually be deposited into my account. Why rush, right? Thank fuck for welfare!

Song Of The Week... 

Since it was my birthday I've decided to pick one of the most meaningful songs from my favourite artist of all time, Jason Molina. A song that's quite morbid with an unbreakable undercurrent of hope. Blue Chicago Moon is one of my top Jason Molina (Songs:Ohia in this case) songs and although it's quite a dark pick for what should be a time for something a little more fun, when I'm at my worst there's not much that can dig me out quite like this one. 

Trying Not To Say {Week 14}

Terrible week for the photo part of the photo blog because I have literally no photos. Not a thing. Well... I do have one pic of my sunburnt face that I have no memory of taking but that isn't exactly very interesting or new. 

Just another daunting precursor of a summer that is to come. Sure, I wanna go to the pool and make fun drinks but I also don't want it to be 40 degrees all day every day.

Week 14.

Monday through Thursday were normal and full work days. We met a kid who's also been hired to help out. He's going to Singapore this summer to do something... it was some Zoomer business plan I didn't really understand, I'll be honest. Man, I feel so fucking old...He's great though. He forgot lunch on the first day so we shared ours with him and he's 'forgotten' it every day now too so we just always make extra. Anything for some worker solidarity.

We found out lunch is not paid however, so we basically take only 15 minute lunches now so that we don't have to stay a half-hour after work to make up the time. Can't even bitch about it or anything. See, if I was fully committed to working in agriculture or the service sector or as a teacher or whatever I'd join a fucking union. And you know what? I will. In the future, I'll be in a fucking union, hold me to it. 

I was going to prank my brother on Wednesday, on April Fool's, by telling him that work was called off and that he could sleep in only to crush his dreams in the next moment. But it felt so cruel! I was actually unpranked most of the day until my mum pulled the classic 'there's a wasp in your hair'. It was bullshit though because there really are wasps that make nests on the kiwi plants!

I took a day off on Friday because I thought I had a meeting but turns out it was on a different day. Dammit! Cats are giving us more problems meanwhile, they've found a gap between the second-floor ceiling and third-floor floor and are crawling around above us like cryptids. They come out completely soot-covered and gross too. Don't like the sound of something creeping above me where I can't see it. 

You know it!

On Saturday I dropped by the thrift store and picked up some cute shoes and a simple long-sleeve. I've been doing really badly this A-Z blogging event, much like the one last year. I already feel like I'm gonna have to quit before complete disaster strikes but I'd like to at least go beyond 'D' which is where I fell over last year. 

And Sunday was quite uneventful. I don't even know when it happened but I got so crispy. I will absolutely never have the flawless skin all the skin-care girlies are chasing because the amount of times I've been sizzled is beyond counting. Ah well, wrinkles, scarier in theory than in practice. 

Finally, a little colour. Bright red!

And so, a very busy but actually quite uneventful week. I did manage to finally order the replacement pen for my tablet for which I am so terribly excited. I'm anxiously waiting. Give it to me!

The end.

This Week I'm Excited For...

My birthday! It's on April 6th, Monday next. Easter Monday? I don't know. I'll be turning 27. It's a good thing I'm no famous rock star or movie actor, that could mean very bad things for my life expectancy. No plans to be honest, probably staying in, hopefully watching a movie or something. And hopefully cake!

Song Of The Week... 

I've been ensnared by the Weakerthans this week. I've had their entire disco on my player for a while but taking more time to listen to some albums back to back. Many amazing songs but all week I have been catching myself singing 'I...hate...Winnipeg!' as if it's a place I've ever been to or will ever go. Well, perhaps when me and Alice finally go on our tour of Canada to see national landmarks such as the Rivoli we may drop by Winnipeg but that's all TBD. I guess the best part about One Great City beside the mournful guitar melody is that it doesn't have to be Winnipeg. Think of any mid-sized town you've lived through and hated and sing it with me: 'I...hate...Winnipeg!'.

{April 2026 Start}

We have reached the second month of spring and one of my faves. Totally biased pick, because it is my birthday month! Yes, soon I will be turning the dangerous age of 27 (if I was famous, which I'm not, phew). I can't believe the luck that this monthly spread fell on April for me, it's got a cake and a cat, and what else does one need? Anyway, here's to a month of better things, I hope.

Goals 

 1. A-Z Blogging

2. Go to all my meetings

3. Kiwi planting work

4. Draft 2 of Marmoris comic

5. Pen! Pen! Pen!

6. FINALLY mail letter

7. Turn 27, don't die 

{March 2026 End}

Hey everyone. Doing something new starting this month. I'll be slowly phasing out my media blog on the account of I realized it's not really the way I want to do media analysis and reviews. I'd rather have dedicated pages on my site for really in-depth stuff in the future and I don't really need a blog for the short stuff cuz I can just drop it here and on the media log. As such, there's gonna be the usual rundown of my monthly goals, accomplished and not, and the best stuff I watched/read/played/listened to during the month. Without further ado...

Goals 

 1. Nanoreno project

Well, it was going very well until my tablet pen decided to die and the Parblo shop decided to make ordering a replacement borderline impossible. I'm still trying to get that damn pen. 

2. Job search continued

Worked for 5 days at the end of the farm planting kiwi fruit. Also went to the job fair and gave my CV to three job-search groups. They always have a laugh about the fact that I'm an illustrator in the Lot-et-Garonne region. That's like saying you came to Ohio to pursue your dream of becoming a movie star. Maybe it's possible? 

3. Apply for titre de voyage

Actually totally forgot to do this... need to get on that. 

4. Portfolio website

Done. Not happy with it but it's done. 

5. A-Z blogging prep

Sorta. 

6. Prepare for driving test 

Put that away for now as I've had some work to do. But I did learn to drive a tractor!

Best Of: March

 

 Movies

Terrible month for movies, I barely watched anything. But I did enjoy something very late into the month and that was One False Move. Bill Paxton is always a pleasure, don't think there's ever been a performance of his I wasn't totally riveted by. But everyone else didn't lag far behind, I was especially taken with Cynda Williams who plays a girl who both permits and commits horrific acts but you can't help but understand, she's dealt a shit hand like no other. It's a crime thriller with a horror-movie opening scene and before you know it it's become an exploration of some really dark shit at the interpersonal, class, and race level between two characters. Billy Bob Thornton's hairstyle is intriguing and evil at the same time.

TV Shows

Another re-watch but damn if it isn't one of the best TV shows to ever exist. You may say... is vulgarity really so funny? First of all, yes. But that's not what this is about. It's another excellent work on the failure of the justice system that starts all the way back in school. I love this show both from Peter's relentless need to find the truth, even when it ends in him in flailing between moderate but sudden fame and alienating nearly everyone he knows and Dylan's jumping from wanting to be better and giving up at every turn, because of himself but also because of how the world treats him. This shit is so serious. I wasn't Dylan-level of burnout in school but I 100% had a sign high above my head placed there by teachers and students alike: anger issues, stupid, a level below everyone else.

Games

Everything comes to your life at the right time. Probably. My brother has been shilling GTA anything at me for a while now and as a kid I liked San Andreas and the PSP games well enough but something always held me back from playing V. We literally had it on our old 360, I even remember trying the North Yankton prologue and just not caring... it seemed so low-brow to 14 year old me, who somehow had such high standards? I'm joking, I thought Assassin's Creed was like deep as fuck and I still love the pre-Origins games but I will absolutely not stay on that hill that it has superior 'substance' to GTA or something. I was a real snob as a pre-teen. Whatever, it was a dumb boy game. Probably good that I only played it now because with a whole lotta more crime-movie trivia under my belt, this was a fucking ride! I love shitty scheming dudes, they are the best. Yeah, this game is still totally stuck on my mind.

Books

Started the Westing Game but have not gotten far. It's not been a great book month for me, I barely read anything. Not even some recent leftie nonfiction. Things are dire. Had a chat with Alice and she gave me some good advice that when you're in a slump, go with a highly rated classic cuz it's probably gonna be good. Gotta agree, and if it's not you can lord it over other people that you read it anyway and everyone's opinions are wrong. 

Music

Listened to a lot of indie bullshit from the GTAV radio. However, from albums, I really loved Helmet's Aftertaste and Number One Gun's Promises for the Imperfect. Not similar at all but both pretty excellent albums. Here's two great tracks:

 

Animation 

Finished my season 2 re-watch of Venture Bros. I remember getting super into the characters and story much later, maybe sometime in Season 4 but it's taken me much faster this time. Weird what time does to the brain! I shouldn't be surprised but I didn't know Chris Prynoski had a hand in this too. Makes sense, he makes no mistakes. Should probably list some of my fave episodes of the season: Assassinanny 911, Fallen Arches, Victor. Echo. November., and I Know Why the Caged Bird Kills. 

Full Log: March 2026

Tractor! {Week 13}

So late. Again! And on many fronts. As I write this I'm already really late to the start of the A-Z blogging event but you bet your ass I'll be playing catch up even if it kills me. Emotionally, of course. I had a hell of a week. Some work finally slid my way, nothing permanent sadly. But work is work. And more importantly... tractor! Trying to keep these little icons on theme and how hilarious is this one? I don't know what a John Deere is though because I'm a fake country girl.

Start!

Got an annoying letter last week saying that the government wants a copy of my birth certificate. That I mailed them near to a year ago. Fantastic. So I did that on Monday. Very surprised to get my own letter back on Tuesday. Turns out my dumb ass as always had a moment of spatial dyslexia along with my regular dyslexia and mixed up the sender and recipient address placements. This is so dumb! I always think, man, I should really just double-check in case and do I ever? Obviously not. Good to know that if I ever want to send something to myself from the post-office a 100 meters from my house that it will likely be next day delivery. Anyway, had to send it again on Tuesday, a perfect 3 euro wasted.

My cat being dumb.

On Wednesday I took the 9 AM train to a nearby town for the job fair. It was mostly full of employment agencies that get you some part-time/seasonal work. I think the job market in my department could very well be fucked. It wasn't the usual assembly on middle-aged folk and immigrants (like me) who are fumbling through the bureaucratic job searching nightmare that is French work options. There were also a bunch of people my age or younger too. Things are fucked. 

I also didn't expect there to be that many booths so my dumb ass only printed 3 CVs. I mostly printed them for just in case, like if they wanted to read them over but every booth's representative actually took my CV and kept it. So 90s, I love it. Every job I've ever gotten with a CV before has been online so this was pretty fun, I guess. It will be fun if anyone calls me back.

I had so long before the train that I had a whole two hours to just wander. Went to see one of my fave buildings first. It's very retro-futuristic and I love buildings like it. Bring this goofy architecture back!

She's perfect.

I also went by the cultural exchange bell this town shares with a Chinese town. I've not heard it actually ring which is a shame, because apparently it's supposed to do that when the horoscope signs change. The overall translation of all the info boards into English was good with some minor mistakes, repetitions, and one hilarious instance of direct translation.

Is your zodiac sign The Beef?

A nice way to live.

I'm the wild orchid. You?

Some good news on that front actually. Half-good anyway. We are going back to work for the kiwi farmer-friend for a few days. When I say I work on a kiwi farm I mean that very literally, I'm not talking about the harassment website. Anyway, he's looking to plant some new saplings/trees as his last batch died due to some calcium-rich water. We got there just before 8 AM, work consisted of this: dig up some shallow holes about 50cm in diameter, plant the kiwi plant, move on. Wanna know how many there were to plant? 1000 female and 100 male trees. I didn't know that apparently it's got to do with the type of flowers the kiwi tree has. Woke trees with their pronouns, ugh! Am joking.

Struggling to get that Lily Chou-Chou shot on a budget.

It rained and it was gross.

There was a highlight to my day though. The mother of all highlights! We were allowed to drive a tractor up and down the rows, on the account of we're not gonna carry all those plants by hand. Anyway, I was kinda stressed to try at first but I did drive it just up and down the row a few times and then did some turns as well...guys, tractors are fun. I kinda get what all the hillbillies are on about now.

Get in loser, we're going farming.

They call me a killer, a monster, a terrorist... I'm all of these things.

View from hill not too far out of town.

I feel powerful!!

Anyway, on Friday my brother almost took out an entire barn wall backing the tractor out of a real narrow spot. He moved the bottom brick's beneath the wooden wall... significantly. We thought we were truly fucked and we still couldn't get the tractor out. Anyway, the boss sent a farmhand who said it wasn't a big deal and that we'd just help fix it later. Phew... Anyway, here's a POV video: we are slowly going to run my brother over with a tractor for his crimes.

But yeah my brother will never live this down and anytime he brings anything up it will be followed by 'and then you wrecked the barn wall, right?'. He was pretty traumatized by the events sadly and refused to drive the tractor all day. Here's just me tractoring on his behalf.

On Saturday it was just me and my brother as my mum had to take my sister to some open door events at local high schools. She's starting high school next year likely, unless they will hold her a year back. I do have some fond memories of that time for myself but I'd hate to go back so I don't totally envy her.

Sure was sore by Sunday but it still felt better than any service job I've ever done. Maybe a little better than teaching. Mostly on the account of the fact that the boss just let us work in the field and wasn't hovering. 

And I live by that.

But yeah, digging all day by hand with a shovel and constantly squatting down to plant shit is exhausting. No surprise that farm work is hard work but does make me think. Every kiwi I never finished... yeah, if you've ever went and bought kiwis and you let them rot away... think about me toiling the fields, man. I won't be mad, just disappointed. Finish your kiwis! 

End of week 13!

This Week I'm Excited For...

Excited to get paid, baby. We're scheduled to work next week too so it will be pretty neat to make a little cash. Most of it will go to house renovations. We got holes in the roof, man. And the windows are shit, letting all the warmth out in the winter and letting all the heat in in the summer. But I might put about 100 away for the Huion I'm trying to buy.

Song Of The Week... 

I will stop talking about GTAV one day, I swear. But there's no denying that this made-for-the-game song has been stuck in my head. I try not to include songs from my 365 playlist on the SOTW playlist but when a song is a song of the week, it's a song of the week, man!