I Love Everything {Week 12}

...Well, I sort of do. Would I lie to you for some two-bit joke? Only sometimes. Could now be that time? Who knows! To be fair, time is truly the only medicine that ever works when it comes to bettering old wounds. Even then it barely kicks in, half the time does nothing, and when it does, it's side-effects are only marginally better than what you're running from. Ah, the beauty of life and how I love it!

Now that some time's come and gone I've got a bit of a clearer picture of what to do next. Maybe we're not in 'as clear as pure water' clarity but we're definitely out of 'the swamps with radioactive waste' clarity. 

Week 12.

Despite the fact that my period has been killing me on Monday, I had an otherwise good lazy day. I usually spend them lying totally still on my back for several hours. I was well enough on this day to do stuff on my PC and hence I decided to finish the story of GTA V. I wrote a short review on the media blog but both finishing this game and always thinking of I Come With The Rain has really motivated me to start writing actually readable... maybe not reviews... but analysis of the shit I watch and play and read. For the longest time the problem for me was that I didn't like the layouts I made for my media review pages. Well, easy solution to that was to break it down to it's utmost basics.

Layout sample. Keepin' it bare bones.

So, hopefully soon, I'll actually put some of that shit on my site. I thought I would be using the media blog more to be honest but the blog format doesn't really work for me when it comes to film, games, etc. Just feels weird, so I may get rid of it soon and move all my brief media thoughts to this blog. Why not? 

I also had a meeting with my social worker. Yet another awkward moment... she asked whether anyone else in my family spoke French 'well' and I went on a small tale about how much my sister's struggling in school and that my brother can't go to the government-assigned courses since they have been cut (thanks, Macron...). Anyway, she asked because she wanted to know if someone at home could help us with documents and not for me to regale all our linguistic problems. Awkward! I really need to keep my mouth shut more often than not.

Tuesday through Friday were pretty boring. I did get a crumb of good news, hence my new-found and likely set-to-expire-soon 'I love things now' attitude. The publisher that was 'enthusiastically' asking about my portfolio apparently did like my work but currently don't have any upcoming projects. Allegedly they are looking to put me on some project in the future. Now, this could all be polite talk for we actually hated your portfolio and instead of openly rejecting you we will keep you on-hold for the rest of your days. That is probably;y the case but I'll fight every pessimist cell in my body and take things at face-value for once.

I also started to take screenshots of a bunch of web design books that are available on the Internet Archive. What with much talk about how much of the internet is lost daily, I find these kind of collections of web history to be so important to keep record of. Plus someone in my guestbook has recently been interested in where I find inspiration for my web projects. And I usually find that in these design books. Hopefully I can put together a whole page to access these screenshots sometime soon.

 

Some of my fave books.

Sunday was a huge flea market/brocante but sadly I had almost no money. The overpriced CD guy was there and he had some real bangers: Helmet, Foo Fighters, Deftones. But he wanted 20 euros for three CDs which were in... merely acceptable condition. So I decided to just pick up the Deftones CD because it was a pretty unique Maxi EP of Back To School (Mini Maggit). Well worth it for 5 euros though I really wanted the Helmet CD too. Fuck it, next time!

That was most of the week: a resignation to the way of things as they go. Not too happy, no longer raging at things that are annoying. I won't call them wins, but I'll take them where I can get them.

The end.

This Week I'm Excited For...

Again, the title of this segment is a lie. I have a job fair next Wednesday that I am not excited for, that I dread, but I wanna do. Don't know what the hell it will look like but I'll go look at it. Oh man, will I look at it...

Song Of The Week... 

I don't ever really not-listen to Jason Molina but I have periods where I only listen to Jason Molina and periods where I listen to Jason Molina plus others. This was a Jason Molina-only kind of time and I was particularly struck by a song that I did not pay too much mind to before. I'm no stranger to how beautiful his love songs are but I think something about 'Goodnight Lover' is like tending to a broken bone. Like loving through a great betrayal and pain that feels like it will never really be cured. "We were free under those conditions of pain that would not leave". Then: ''and I can tell by that look you were thinking the same thing too: if this can't last just what can last". In the end: "Then it's lights out after this kiss, then time can't torment us". Goodnight lover, where ever you are.