I Hate Everything {Week 11}

Fuck me. Man, fuck me! There's no destiny, no karma, no fate, no kismet, no divine will, no 'it's gonna come to you threefold (and your dick will fall off in three days), but there sure is pushing your fucking luck! And I've gone and pushed it. Months of wallowing and self-critique and gigabytes upon gigabytes of unfinished works later, when I finally decide to actually illustrate some shit that will make it into some form of final product that will in some sense be published, everything goes tits up. Yes, this is about the drawing tablet pen and all associated misfortunes. More on that... never! I don't wanna talk about it (I'm gonna incessantly talk about it).

Week 11.

Monday was going swimmingly. I went to a meeting with the counselor from the unemployment office and she set me up to go to an event at the end of the month where I can talk to a bunch of employers and throw my CV around. I need that shit bad. I drew a sketch of one character's full sprite and it looked so great. I was actually happy with something for once.

It could have been finished...

In the evening my and my brother's friend streamed some Marathon to us. It looks good and all but I never got into extraction shooters. I think extracting or looting is the most boring part of most modern shooters, it's even worse than battle royales in my opinion but to each their own.

Tuesday is when disaster struck. My brother was out having his civic course and I was drawing when the pen started to randomly freak out until it stopped working all together. I took it apart, tried to fix what I could but I'd need some really small tools to actually have a go at the innards and a fucking manual preferably. Well, there isn't one.

What I fucking despise about new tech more than anything is the lack of documentation and instruction. I remember not even ten years ago when I'd got my most recent phone, sure it didn't have a total blueprint for the thing, but it explained easy battery replacement, how and where to pop-off the cover to fix the screen etc. Now it's all: having a problem? Take it to the official repair shop! Man, fuck you...

I actually really loved the Parblo stuff but their customer support answers every 1000 years, their shop just doesn't let you buy anything from there directly. There are no FAQs about what to do when a pen is non-responsive and there are no fucking manuals. I was going to buy my own tablet from them in the future too but I probably won't now.

I dug out my 2011 Wacom Bamboo just to see if there is any way I could use it but sadly that was a no-go. I mean it was kind of a miracle it worked at all, the thing is 15 years old. It has no pressure sensitivity somehow and the pen-to-tablet connection is a little wack. I assumed it was possible driver issues but guess what? Wacom has made drivers for old tablets unavailable! I'm going to lose it.  

Don't ask what the red spots are... I don't know.

I tried some third-party drivers but they sadly did not work. I was gonna throw something into the Porkbun mascot contest too. So long to those plans!

Wednesday through Friday was pretty uneventful, I mostly spent that time writing the story of my visual novel beyond the first chapter but scrapped most of it. Wasn't going where I wanted it. The evenings were salvaged by GTA V storymode fortunately. That game has been a comfort to me lately... despite all the carnage, murder, and betrayal. I don't really know what it is but it felt quite peaceful to RP as some depressed middle-aged guys (and Franklin).

On Saturday me and Mo finally finished ODST. It was his favourite because it was the most tactical. I actually like the Ring locations so I prefer the mainline games but I do love the dumb little ODST guys. Not as dumb as the marines. Here's pics of my cats by the way:

Private helicopter just for him.

Same bullshit on Sunday. I've been drawing traditionally ever since the tablet died and it has put me into my second-layer of depression. Neglect the classics and this is what happens, kids. I just feel so inept... I didn't even realize that I've gotten worse at drawing with a pencil, but I have. This has only made my mood worse. I guess it's better I found this out now than later... Everyone (including myself) told me to never forget the basics and here I go forgetting them.

The end.

This Week I'm Excited For...

Hard to be excited for anything. Should I hope that I impossibly fix my tablet pen? That a tablet just appears on my doorstep, accidentally sent to the wrong address? That I get magic money from a magic sugarmommy/daddy that are deeply invested in my art career and are also emotionally attentive and patient, funny, good-looking and- er, where was I? Honestly, I just need to replace this stupid 15 dollar pen as soon as possible but that depends on if the Parblo Aliexpress shop even deigns me worthy of buying it, it's not in their listings and their damn customer support told me I had to ask in DMs and maybe, maybe, they would sell me one. In the very, very far future I would love to buy a Huion Kamvas Pro 16 V2 but that bitch is 390 euros. Argh...

Song Of The Week... 

Listening to the radio stations in GTA V is like being transported to age 13. Or 14. However old I was when I first heard the sweet, sweet screeches of my first FIDLAR song. Which was probably Max Can't Surf. I know it's shameful but I do have to admit that my fave station is definitely Vinewood Boulevard Radio, followed closely by Channel X and Non Stop Pop (I think it's very funny to make Trevor drive to I Want It That Way or Pure Shores). So, Soft Pack, who I first heard of via BIRP and their song C'mon, have not really stuck around for me. Shame! Answer To Yourself is such pure, beautiful 2000s indie kid bullshit that it reaches deep into some part of my mind that's honestly kind of proud of myself for expanding my tastes so young. And I just really need a pick-me-up.