Probably the longest title I've had on the blog so far. I'm sure it will get worse. I'm gonna start making Fall Out Boy songs happen over here! But yes, if you can't tell yet... I have literally one plan, a plan to rule them all, and that's watching some Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie this weekend. It's happening, fuck it!
Otherwise some job search stuff, some soul search stuff. Mostly a lot of being a downer. You ever look at the style of this blog, how cute I've bedazzled the place and go 'woah, the wholesome wallpaper is totally not matching this much profanity, banality, and gloom hidden behind all the furniture!'. I like to keep you on your toes.
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| Week 26. |
Monday, I was an idiot. This time in a very new and fresh way. You know that worry you have that you'll do something stupid, but you're like, it's so stupid, there's no way I'll actually do it. Well... my fear was always that I'd show up to a meeting but somehow get the place wrong. And guess what.
Yeah, I showed up to the wrong TOWN for my meeting with my France Travail counselor. That shit is so embarrassing. The fellas working the office in this town looked at me like, 'oh, poor you'. I think I would have felt better if they literally pointed a finger, laughed, called me a moron. Fortunately, meeting rescheduled but Jesus Christ. Took the bus for free though. Their machine was broken and whenever the passengers tried to pay the driver he'd wave them on, annoyed, saying, 'shit's free today!'. Awesome.
After class, Mo invited his friend Abde to Monique's pool along with the rest of us. My mum's friend was there too and so were Monique's niece and her boyfriend. Kind of a party! Turns out Abde is also a huge cinephile. Obviously, I asked what he likes, what he's seen recently. He was like, you know Scent Of A Woman? I was like, boy, do I! With Al Pacino! And he was like, yeah, he's amazing!
Mo got mildly annoyed that I was now the one hanging out with his new friend and tried to derail the conversation with his classic Danny Boyle propaganda. Have you seen Sunshine, though? What about Sunshine? It was already too late, Al Pacino was the star of the conversation.
On Tuesday I was mostly busy preparing docs for my meeting on Wednesday with an interim organization. Something screwy also happened with Aurora on the Xbox that I couldn't fix so I left it to do the next day.
Wednesday morning my mum's friend's daughter Naomi dropped by because she went to see the dentist and was gonna wait for her mum at ours. We picked up some stuff at the bakery and I made ice coffees. I am making like three cups a day for myself. I need to be stopped. Anyway, she was doing her own thing and I did a whole fresh re-installation of BadUpdate to the USB and all is back to normal but Title Updates are still fucked. She also told me about how she drives and now I feel totally secure about my own absurd levels of cautiousness considering it seems they'll just let whoever the fuck get a license.
Went to my meeting at about 11. Nice lady, she took all my docs and then I explained my situation to her. It's a special kind of organization that works with foreigners and helps with integration, work, housing, etc. Also helps addicts and other varied difficult cases.
For some reason, you know, despite the evidence, I've never thought of myself as a difficult case. I have literally no legs to stand on: endless school meetings about under performance, poor behavior, too confrontational and too much talking back, grades so bad they should have invented a negative-numbers scale just for me etc. Sporadic employment. And you know, that's without all the personal problems.
I guess I used to have a shame about it. Like, a real difficult case is someone who's totally out of control, and that's not me. It can't be me. But... I don't know, it probably always was. Is. In all areas of my life, not just work. Whenever I was still social, I was too much, kinda overbearing. And when I wasn't, it was like a 180: totally cold, if not hostile. I think I comforted myself by knowing there's someone worse than me. That's a stupid thought.
Now, I'm making peace with it, I guess. Yeah, I'm one of those people that struggles to do basic shit like find a job. I also feel like the world moved on without me, like I don't even know how to find a job anymore. 2021, the year I started my last full-time job, was only like 5 years ago but I feel like nothing is the same. And I was fired from that job by the way. FIRED. It was a shitty job.
So, either I'm embarrassed, full stop or I'm embarrassed and I move on. We'll see... either way, it better humble me. Don't usually think I'm above anyone else but when I feel really insecure I still think: at least I'm not addicted to drugs or something, as if that's a choice. It's rarely a choice. It's kinda dumb, right? To avoid judgement, I do the judging. Oh man, free me from this man-made hell, dude!
Uneventful Thursday and Friday, besides that we finally decided that we are going to watch all the Nirvanna The Band The Show stuff and then the movie. You know how annoying it is when something you should totally see in cinemas is not being screened anywhere near you?
On Saturday we managed to get through just about half of season 1 only. This pace is not looking good right now. Finished it on Sunday, but the movie was inevitably postponed to Monday... so this whole thing, it's a lie! But Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie The Weekend and Monday doesn't really roll off the tongue... unlike whatever the fuck I ended up calling this blog post.
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| That's uh... |
'What flavour is that?' is like a sleeper cell phrase at our house. Anytime someone asks that, about like a pizza or an ice cream or whatever me and Mo look at each other, slowly saying 'that's, uh... good and plenty'. It never makes sense and no one ever knows what the fuck is going on but so be it.
It finally rained. I mean, not just rained, it was biblical! My sister and her friend went to the big parking lot outside our supermarket and took some great pics. Wish I knew how to take pics this good.
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| Absolute cinema. |
Not a total success but it could be worse. Artfight is on the horizon too. Much to think about...
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| The end! |
Yep, that's it. That's the week. It's over now.
This Week I'm Excited For...
Er... to actually watch the movie this whole weekend was dedicated to. Like, what are all these plans that never happen! Kind of in the spirit of things, I guess.
Song Of The Week...
This is a selection from the incredibly underrated video game, Blur. It's Bump by Spank Rock, specifically the Best Fwends remix. Makes me feel very cool when I'm walking down the street probably looking weird as hell.
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