I mean, I'm not talking intern at a fashion magazine in a 2000s movie busy, but not totally slacking as I feel is my norm either. I actually felt really overwhelmed again but it felt like a milliliter easier this time. What's the secret? The autumn? The cold? Everything, all together? I've been reading a pretty good book about attention that's both so eye-opening and harrowing at the same time, it really put some shit into it's right place for me. Mentally, mentally. My life is still a mess, duh.
On Monday I skipped class due to bad cramps. Ugh, I hate the first day of my period, I basically become a vegetable. Okay, as much as the pain sucks and with how much I tell people that I'm so annoyed that I have to take time off from stuff... I seriously love sick days. Just kicking back for a second and if someone hassles you, they can't, because you feel like shit and that makes them a total asshole. I like to take advantage of my own suffering.
Due to my state I was able to watch a bunch of movies in preparation for my October blog project. This will be a recurring...issue this week. You know how it is: I clearly don't have enough problems which is why I need to make more.
We finally got Skyrim in the mail and booted it up. We have officially lost our sister to the Elder Scrolls. She's been on the Xbox basically every day as soon as school ends. Before anyone thinks this is irresponsible and bad for her, I was there once, okay? I would get back from high school or whatever, mad and depressed and disappearing into Watch_Dogs or Assassin's Creed Black Flag for a while was like a cure. Plus anything that gets her away from Roblox, man. And since it's on the TV we get to have fun together. Honestly, everyone should own at least one shitty old console.
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| Our insane set-up. I cast fire hazard. |
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| Literally dropping everything. |
I felt better on Tuesday and all drugged up on Nurofen. Class was swell. On Wednesday I visited the Catholic recyclerie for the first time even though we've been in our town for 3 years now. They were always closed. Some cool stuff, posted about it on finnymemo. Drew some and slapped a new portfolio just in case because Thursday was my France Travail meeting...
I got there early, came into the building about ten minutes before my appointment and pressed some buttons on a machine that told me to wait. 20 minutes pass. I wait. 30 minutes, I ask the receptionist what's up? She says everything's fine, just wait. Okay, 40 minutes pass. Still wait? Yeah, just wait. Okay... Dude, 45 minutes. And because of a technical error. Whatever, I'm not in a rush or something.
Um, the lady I'm with basically disappears for another 20. I just read on my Kindle. She shows back up and says since my language course schedule is so busy right now I should just finish my course and then have another meeting about work. Dude! So, that's that. They scanned one paper for which I had to wait like... 2 hours? Speed of France, man.
Anyway, at least it got done and it's all free so I'm gonna stop whining, I think. The really annoying thing was that I got stuck in this town for like 3 hours because I missed the train I wanted to take. But! It was still a good day, doubled by the fact that my brother finally heard back from the immigration organization responsible for us. It's good news, he'll get the same residency permit like me and eventually be able to do everything I am able to: study, look for work, get welfare, etc. Man, some really good people are working out there. Thanks.
On Friday I had an existential crisis in the middle of class. We had to fill in a sheet for our future professional projects; basically what you wanna do with yourself in the future. I was at a crossroads as usual. The truth is I wanna sit at home, write and draw comics, make games, websites, and whatever, be some kind of artist recluse. However, that is not really a job... and isn't exactly contributing to my community... and it ain't exactly paid. The closest thing would be a freelance illustrator but I'll be real... I don't wanna. I don't want to network, I don't want to self-promote, to entice, to do all this not because it's like bad or something but because I just can't do it.
The other thing that I could probably do all the time is teach art or English to kids. But... kids are usually the devil. But more importantly... what if I fail these hypothetical kids in some way? Ugh. Being a teacher is also such a thankless, hard, and poorly paid job. So these are the only two things I can see in the future and as I sat there weighing them... I cam to a strange conclusion. I thought about what it would be like one day: I'm a fluent French speaker, I have colleagues I see every day, I talk to a lot of people, I pass my skills unto others, I run like an art club or some shit after hours, I work at the same place for years. I sit there, thinking of myself like that and the weirdest feeling comes over me. Tentatively, meekly, I kind of want it. Isn't that super weird? Maybe I'm rushing into things.
Anyway, at home I cooked up some burgers and we watched Snatch, Guy Ritchie literally never name a good movie after that one.
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| POV: You are in heaven. |
On Saturday we biked to a recyclerie a little out of town and I found some old mags and a very cool edition of the original Star Wars trilogy. I made a cinnamon crunch loaf, it burned but was honestly pretty good.
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| Please ignore the burnt area. |
We finished the Marine campaign of Alien vs. Predator on the 360 and we were so in the mood for more Alien we decided to re-watch Aliens. So good, man. Yeah, if you didn't know Hicks and Ripley get married and adopt Newt and Bishop and live happily ever after. If someone tells you something other than that happens to them they are lying.
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| Cryptid. |
I've been having some serious migraines recently and went to bed twice with ones so bad I actually couldn't even look at light. Hate it. On Sunday I spent a while trying to translate the settings of my new camera, it's totally in Japanese. While I was doing that I came across some commercials for my model and I'm telling you now, that's gonna be me. Yes, I will have gravity defying photos flowing out of my camera as me and the girls go shopping in a weirdly liminal city with no distinct features. Let me have a dream, dammit.
I did not take advantage of my free day and instead tried to find information about the publication of Mori Girl Lesson. I've been into Mori Kei/Girl for like years... but only now I brave trying it for myself.
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| 'Tis the end of the week. |
This Week I'm Excited For...
In the middle of next week I'll be starting my stupid little Halloween event. Be spooked. Now that Alice hinted that I may be receiving some stickers I am also excited for that!
Song Of The Week...
I have had some Grant Lee Buffalo tracks hanging out in some mixes but for some reason none of them really struck such a strong chord with me until Fuzzy. Very morose, it's also part of my autumn mix.
