Getting Older {2025 Week #14}

Guys, statistically, based on where I come from, I ain't making it far past 70. 75 or 76 if I'm lucky. If you think that's bad, dudes from my area will probably not even make it to 70. Sucks to suck, dudes! 

I'm joking. Low life expectancy is sad. Anyway, this week I turned 26, which means that if I am lucky enough to make it to 75, I am currently in my 2nd third of life. It feels pretty a-okay. I'm being over-dramatic, no one knows when they will die. That would be cheating.

On Monday I finished my mermaid quiz. I let it lose on the world and some very lovely people took it and let me know what their results were, and some even put it on their sites. Krish, if you're reading, I actually had you in mind for the Moonpool mermaid! I wanted a real princess-like mermaid. 

Ow the edge (forever and ever...)

April 1st was a Tuesday. I'm really bad at pranks so I didn't get anyone. Out of nowhere, my mum got my brother good. She was pretending that he had a bug in his hair and he was totally freaking out. I actually kind of fell for it too but when I got close to get it out I realized there was nothing there and played a long. He caught on eventually. Also, started reading Weapons of Math Destruction by Cathy O'Neill. It's pretty great so far. I hate math. So it's fun to see someone who loves math and is good at it take a step back and see how it's been misused. Honestly I spend so much time on the indie web and on forums that I sometimes forget there's even mainstream social media and that it's a trap. That it doesn't have your best interests in mind. 

I didn't finish my A-Z challenge post for the first day until Wednesday. It got so long. I got a lovely comment on it from a fellow A-Z participant Anne M Bray who is drawing fluevog shoes this April. Fashion girlies got to stick together. Also got some lovely comments on this blog (Hi, Alice, Ari, and Emma!). 

On Thursday I ordered 3 CDs as a birthday gift for myself. It's Elliott's Song In The Air and False Cathedrals. I lie in fear at night that they may be too rare to buy one day so I needed them now. The seller also had Electric President's The Violent Blue which is a stellar album. I love Electric President, I love everything Ben Cooper does. It's awesome. In the afternoon I went to mop a house for that little extra cash, I did it much faster this time because the house is empty so no ones making a mess. It took like 4 hours last time. Trying to tutor Marta in French because she is really struggling but it's so hard to teach when I barely have a grasp on it myself.

On Friday I was in Agen all morning. I left by an early train because I needed to be at the prefecture early to get my resident permit. I waited outside for a while because I arrived super early and I read a lot of The Temple of the Golden Pavilion by Yukio Mishima which is April's bookbug book. I'm thinking of joining in order to develop a better reading habit. Eventually I made it into the prefecture and was met by a guy in a very lovely and bright fuchsia polo. The mood felt celebratory. It took less than five minutes for him to scan everything and give me the permit. I love the country side for this. Sure, some thing barely function but people don't treat you like a hostile evil-doer for breathing and existing like in the city. I was so emboldened I even asked where the bathroom was. And he told me where it was. Grade A human interaction.

Before my train I walked around the center and went into Martin Delbert to browse the CDs. Lucky me, because they are having a special metal sale and I found White Pony and Adrenaline by Deftones and Follow the Leader by Korn. I also grabbed red and black Sony headphones because I needed some for my PC. And a new pen. I am a spoiled brat.

It was pretty awesome and when I got home Marta was already back from school so we watched Phantom Menace. I have the same opinion about this movie as Liam Neeson. Who cares, he got to be a Jedi. Attack of the Clones I love unironically. I feel like I'm morphing into a 12 year old boy circa 2008. All I care about it nu-metal and Star Wars.

Saturday was my last day as a 25 year old. Good times. Not really. Sort of. Mixed bag. My sister has been hounding us to go to Royal Wok again but I really didn't want to so I told her she should bring a friend instead. So my mum, Mo, Marta, and her friend Yolanta went to have lunch out of town and browse the Easycash also.

I was at home working on site stuff. Administrative duties and the like. I was supposed to send something but because I am very dumb I forgot that the post office closes in the afternoon. Alas, the country side drawback, nothing works on the weekend. We wait for Monday.

Then came my birthday. What can be said, once you're an adult and you're broke, birthdays are kind of a so-so event. Maybe I'm just naive and annoying and want things to happen but don't make them happen myself. Who can tell? If you can, don't tell me. I'm gonna stay uninformed. But yeah, 26 now. Got the loveliest messages on neocities. So many great webmasters out there took a minute to wish me a birthday so I just want to say that I appreciate all of you beyond words. Thanks.

So, since this is a special week I'm just going to pick a song that means a lot to me. One of my all time favourite musicians ever is Sufjan Stevens, I especially like his rarities and unreleased-sort-of-released tracks. Woman At The Well is in my opinion one of the best of these tracks. I don't actually understand or really relate to any of the religious references in the song but I just love it's sound. It's so sadly hopeful. Anyway, here's to one more year.

Lucky Finds {2025 Week #13}

New week, old me. Nothing special happened at all. Sometimes that's a good thing. On Monday I started watching Succession because everyone is really raving about it and I'm super late to the party. Wow, these are the worst people to have ever existed. But the drama! Yes, I love the drama.

Tuesday was taken up by me working on my notebook microsite. It's coming along great but now would have been a good time to know something like PHP or some other back-end language because I am manually sorting everything like a dummy.  But I guess there's a kind of craftiness to the manual method. 

All things notebook.

I went to have my second to last meeting with Mission Locale. The social worker is super helpful and fixed me up with a bunch of stuff. In April she's going to help me go and get with the grown-up adult unemployment system, France Travail. So far all I heard about it is that it's hell, everyone hates it, and it's a free-for-all. Can't wait. We also watched Predator and it totally sucked.

Applied for the renewal of my transportation discount card on Wednesday. It was super easy! Some things in France work great. 

Did groceries on Friday. Mum had a friend over and I was busy drawing mermaids for my quiz. We also started to re-watch the first 2 seasons of the Mandalorian because we realized we hadn't seen season 3! I heard it was a real nose-dive compared to season 2. Makes me miss Clone Wars and pre-Disney Star Wars. It had some kind of a special sauce about it.

On Saturday I spent the morning mad over the Ghibli AI thing. I hate all Gen AI, just let it die already. Let the AI do boring shit, please. Why the hell do I want subpar, uninspired art or writing when I can get the good human-made shit anytime? You know when I was finishing high school, around 17 or 18, we had to put on a gallery to pass our art class. It was just me and Yuka (my bestie). I had a really dumb bit that made some people chuckle. First of all, we had themes, and my theme was aliens. I did like so many directions of this: anti-racism, feelings of isolation, science fiction homages, you name it, my stressed out ass trying to meet the quota probably bullshitted about it. Anyway, the bit I had was that I would sign all my works as 'made by a human'. That's where 'humanfinny' comes from. I know some people thinks it's because of Adventure Time, and it is a bit, but mostly it's from that and my surname which starts with 'Fin'. 

Everyone had a giggle. Made by a human? Well, yes, who else would make this? The implication was it was an alien poorly pretending to be a human. Who else could it be? I cant think of anything else (in the year of some lord, 2017). How wrong I was...

I think my stupid bit is so relevant now that it's depressing. I wasn't like, future-seeing, it was just dumb luck but it still resonates. I'll have to take some time to properly write about human work sometime. A little essay. That's the story for now. 

We went to Tom's in the afternoon to play video games. We brought Marta and her friends too. First we played some Mario Kart which was good but I forgot my glasses so I'm not gonna lie, I had no idea what was happening. Even worse, after we played Smash Bros and I actually do not understand this game at all. Last time I played it some 10 year old kicked my ass and called me cringe and bad at games. I still haven't recovered. 

The game.

The gamers.

Sunday was awesome because a brocante (flea market) was in town. I got a super cute bag, plaid polo shirt, and a silver PSP 2000 for only 12 euros! I feel kind of bad because it was some mother of two just selling it off because she didn't want it anymore but she seriously did not know it's value. It's in perfect condition but is missing a battery, so I have to order one online later. Great find!

This week I went back to some of my childhood favourites, kind of by accident. I used to listen to a lot of indie rock and the like. One of the bands I liked a lot was The Wombats. So please enjoy what I think is their best song: Kill The Director.

Carnival Week {2025 Week #12}

Bit of a tough week because a bunch of shit happened at the same time. Shit I had on the calendar, mind you. But me and time have a very weird relationship. If things are two weeks ahead, I'm like, that's as good as months away. And then it creeps up and I go, what the hell, didn't I have like two months till this? No, I did not. I deluded myself... again. 

Ever since I left the Nanoreno project on pause I've been organizing other things I want to work on which is mostly a variety of comics in very different stages of production. I lose motivation, inspiration, and most of the time I can work through it but recently I've started thinking literally everything I do is bad and there's no point to work on any of it. However! I have to also remind myself what I really think of that. I don't care if I suck or if my work is bad, I need to get it done anyway. If I don't it's going to burn holes through my brain from the inside.

On Tuesday I revamped my Dreamwidth journal because it was looking a little plain. I kind of made my account on a whim but I think I'm going to use it for media logging. If I watched something or listened to something, stuff like that. 

On Wednesday, good news arrived in the most unexpected way! I was on my way to Mission Locale when I decided to check my postbox. Aha, a letter from the Prefecture had arrived! It said I can come and get my titre de sejour (residence permit) on the 4th, just before my birthday. This is great news because once I have it the bank can't keep breaking my balls over insufficient ID (that's right, they will have to get creative and find other grounds on which to refuse me). The Mission Local was closed for some reason so two birds with one stone killed were not. 

Me and my sister re-watched the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants movies this week also. Well, she can't remember watching them the first time so it was like watching something new for her. It's crazy, we watched it not so long ago, in 2022 but she was 11 then so I guess she can't remember it.

On Thursday nothing of note happened. I was listening to Listen To Sassy some more while drawing and stuff. I got excited about my new planner that I will start using in August. I'm a little too excited for it, it's not even Summer. 

Friday was Carnival day, an annual event in our town (probably some other towns too) where we have a parade, some performances, and burning a kind of huge paper statue. It likely started as a Spring welcoming type of celebration, people love burning some shit when Spring arrives. Our plan was to meet up at Tom's at about seven in the evening and then go to see the parade. Apparently Tom is too cool for the parade so he said he might not go. I personally love the parade. 

    My look to the carnival.

Anyway, I took Marta and her two friends over to his house, my brother and mum went earlier. There we met Benedicte and Lola, Tom's friends who are going out. Noemi and her brother Artur were there too. We played a questions game which came with cards and they were LGBT themed. It was fun but a lot of the questions were pretty spicy and I tried to keep it PG but Tom did not and neither did Artur, who is like, 13. France, am I right? I'm no puritan or anything but I feel like some things may scare kids who are young and don't know much about sex. Like maybe these things should be discussed in a more informative/educational way with them, and by teachers or parents. But also there's no point to stigmatize everything so that it all seems super scary. Luckily Marta's friends don't speak too much English so their poor ears were spared.

The girls still wanted to go see the parade so we convinced everyone to go. We stood around for a while and I'm not gonna lie, this year was a let down. The floats were not that cool, the acts were kind of average. The problem is that 2 years ago was literally a Hollywood production and no other carnival will live up. Poor parade guys, they must live in their own shadow.

Local beauty queen.

Anyway, we also saw a cool performance in the park. It's a troupe that has these rigged paper-costume things that they move with sticks and they are all lit up with warm yellow lights. It looks great and magical. 

Magic deer.

A bride?

We didn't stay long and walked back to Tom's house. Lost my mum a couple of times because she was drunk and my god, she is an annoying drunk. We found her eventually. I wanted to go sleep at 11 PM and Tom said I am boring and old and why am I leaving already? I am totally old and boring but I went home and was happy about it. Mo bought a huge bag of churros that were fresh, they were so good. We also had whipped cream, strawberries, and other snacks. It was a good time. The girls were having a sleepover so they watched Alien: Romulus. Marta's friends are on their phones a lot even during movies and sleepovers and she used to be like that too but this time I heard her snapping at them to put them away. So proud.

Anyway, on Saturday I was actually supposed to go do a thing with Monique but I totally overslept and didn't hear her knocking on our door. The useless passed out children didn't let her in either. We woke up pretty late and I got the girls up because they wanted to go to the thrift store. We dropped by and they found some cute things, mostly accessories.  

Afterwards I was up to my own stuff until it was time to meet Tom, Benedicte, and Lola because it was time for the fated sleepover. They were super late to the bumper cars but eventually they showed up and we went for two rounds. I totally busted up my knee because I am not child-sized and when we got knocked, the steering wheel just got blasted against my leg.

Marta and her friends went home and me and Mo went to Tom's. Mo immediately said he would not be staying over and when Tom asked why he didn't even come up with an excuse and just said he wants to go home and play video games. I wish I was capable of such radical honesty sometimes. 

We played some more of the question game and since there weren't any kids we could just say whatever we want! Well, my confessions were still very boring because I literally have never done anything adventurous. My adventurous side is in becoming emotionally attached to someone but only after 5 or 6 years and no sooner and then not doing anything about it. Anyway, we made snacks and talked about nearly everything. As usual my brother does not know when it's not politics o'clock and busted out the leftist scholar dialectic. I agree with him 100% but being a leftist is such a downer and you need to be with some specific people to talk shop. Also Tom thought Iran was in South America, so. 

Benedicte and Lola are both very nice and interesting, I asked them about what they were up to now and they told me fun stories from their teen years and stuff. It was good, but I was so tired and we were drinking Jaegermeister with a shitty cherry juice the entire night. Alcohol makes me sleepy. Anyway I wasn't even the first one to go to bed, me and Tom were last. I fell asleep and I thought I would sleep in but at the crack of dawn, like at six I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I wrote a small note on some tissue and left as quiet as a mouse. 

Sunday was recovery day. Not from a hangover, I think I was hungover maybe once in my life. No, from socializing too much. I'm half kidding because it was a nice time but it was two days in a row of a lot of people which is a bit overkill for me. On Sunday my period also started so I was pretty immobile. Mostly spent time scanning notebooks. In the evening we finished the second season of Severance. I need to gather my thoughts.

Anyway, I have been listening to the O.C. soundtrack still. One of my faves is a cover of a Spoon song: I Turn My Camera On by Rock Kills Kid. When it was my turn to put something on the playlist during the sleepover that's the first thing I thought of so I guess that makes it my song of the week.

Making The Most Of It {2025 Week #11}

How are you? You're always hearing about my bullshit, how about letting me know how its going for you? Comment, use the form, anything. I'd be happy to hear about your day, week, life, whatever you feel like talking about.

Anyway, now more on my bullshit. Monday was fun. First, my brother's friend streamed us some Apex, which I haven't played in years and it made me a little nostalgic for my uni days. My sister had a friend over so we all decided to play Roblox together. I usually hate Roblox but I'll play when it's something we can do together. We played the fake Buckshot Roulette game and fake Uno and I won twice at Uno! 

In the evening me and Mo watched Jumper which is a terrible movie but it has Jamie Bell in it. It was one of those movies teachers at our school would put on during a special day when kids had to be kept indoors for some reason. Usually before a big event in the evening or if the weather was bad during lunch break. 

I'm still grappling with confronting daunting tasks. I have a very annoying micro-management system going now. Basically, I fear complicated tasks that are usually out of my control. My biggest issue has been that there are usually a ton of little things that are roadblocks to getting that one big task out of the way. So instead I wallow about how impossible it all feels. I'm not really successful yet, but now I just pick out the little tedious problems and pretend the big picture doesn't exist. 

It was the birthday of a childhood friend on Wednesday but ever since my phone died, I have lost contact with a lot of people. My first ever fan-listing got approved by the Fanlisting Network! It's for the band Elliott which I am obsessed with. Alice was my first member, I love her site and browse it often. I should probably tell her that. Elliott really doesn't have a bad song. I was supposed to go to the employment office today but I didn't. The more I drag it out, the worse it's going to be...

Ow the edge.

In the afternoon me and my sister went to the thrift store because she always has a half-day on Wednesday. She found a really cute short-sleeve black button-up and a striped sweater. I got a Norah Jones and The Fray CD.

These cops looked really funny hiding from the rain.

On Thursday I checked my Neocities and got so many lovely comments from people about my fanlisting. It was really nice to read. The visual part of my site is probably the most important so I feel really good when other's appreciate the efforts. I also picked up where I left off with Listen To Sassy. Such a great podcast. It must be cool to be Pamela Ribon, talking and writing about TV through the 2000s! I got sad about Quizilla being dead and looked at some stories through the Wayback Machine. Some of the most generic emo boy love stories but there was just something special about that.

On Friday, I finally went to the employment office thing I needed to go to and got an appointment. It was literally so easy but I spent so much time building it up in my head that it grew into something catastrophic. Well, it wasn't. Am I going to learn my lesson from this? Nope.

I finished a sprite for Nanoreno but I am not feeling optimistic about the demo. I may have to postpone to next year. 

On Saturday we watched Superbad with my sister who hasn't seen it before. It's kind of funny to think that a childhood staple for me is something strange for her. Like, do Gen Alpha kids get McLovin' as a reference? Maybe. I don't know. Old man, cloud, you know, the usual. Anyway, I love the ending of Superbad. It's so sad. It's what going to uni felt like for me too. One last hurrah, you promise everyone to meet again and then it just doesn't happen. No ill will or anything, turns out we were all just a little too naive and hopeful. 

In the evening I was hanging out in Kuroi's chat and had a lovely time with other website visitors. Chances! Just being in the right place at the right time. 

On Sunday I made an executive decision to officially quit Nanoreno this year. It just wasn't going to happen and I didn't want to rush the project. We had a nice lunch and went to the park to play Frisbee. My throwing game is off. Marta walked Yoshi, he enjoyed himself because he's never been to the park before. At night we watched Blue Crush, chock full of a boring romance but such cool outfits. Me and Marta are feeling the summer early.

This week's song is a little hidden gem by the name of Super Down (by Super TransAtlantic). I heard it when I was watching American Pie ages ago but it's super catchy. Not a great film but dammit there's somethings about it I can appreciate.

Le Petit Blog #5: Ma Vie Dans Dix Ans

Cette année, j'aurai vingt-six ans. Pendant les deux dernières années, j'ai l'impression que ma vie est en pause. C'est un sentiment fatigant. Dans dix ans, j'aurai trente-six ans. J'espère que ma vie changera beaucoup. Je veux trouver un travail bon et cohérent. Aussi, je voudrais vivre seul, juste avec mes chats. J'aime ma famille, mais j'ai besoin de mon propre espace. J'espère que mon français s'améliorera considérablement et que je pourrai parler de mes intérêts, de mon travail et de ma vie. Je veux être artiste de bande dessinée toujours. Donc, quand j'aurai trente-six ans, j'aurai quelques bandes dessinées complètes.

 

If We Don't Make It, Nothing Changes {2025 Week #10}

Hey. The tenth week has ended, we are in the double digits which means the year is truly on it's way and my life is still a total mess. On Monday I had a meeting with a really nice lady from InfoDroits and I explained my bank situation to her. She gave me a step by step plan for what to do next. I need to send a letter to the bank again and if that doesn't work, I'm going to have to contact a mediator that is a specialist in dealing with banks. If that too fails, its time for court. I really hope we don't have to go that far because the situation is dumb enough already and I'm too nervous to be in a setting like that. Couldn't be a criminal, too nervous. At home we played Alien Isolation, we are really getting through it slowly. My dad was really annoying and sat on his phone the entire time but that's just how he is. We watched Step Up 2, its a nostalgic movie for us. I know its not a good movie or anything but its just a lot of fun.

On Tuesday we went to a nearby town to our favourite Chinese buffet. I finally ordered the soup and it was awesome. Super tasty. Everyone had a pretty good time, we laughed about how terribly my brother put whipped cream on his dessert, it was the saddest looking thing Ive ever seen. After that we dropped by Easycash, a kind of pawn shop, to check in with what X-boxes they had. Now were thinking of getting a PS3 instead, who knows. I didn't find anything good but my sister bought a lamp that looks like a Minecraft potion.

Mum and dad stayed in the town and walked around and Monique drove us back. We stopped at her house to see if she had a DVD player because I needed one but she didn't. However, she let us have a look at a bunch of old tech she kept but doesn't need anymore. She let my sister have a flip phone and I took two camcorders and a analog camera. Sadly both camcorders were out of commission but I'm still hopeful I could do something to fix them. The analog camera is really cool but it uses irregular film and batteries so now I need to figure out where to get those. I have the same problem with the Konica.

On Wednesday mum and dad left to another town to buy some stuff for the house. We still have so much work to do around here and we haven't even started with the third floor. For some reason they bought me a collector's edition VHS set of the Star Wars trilogy. Cool? Yes, but now I need a VHS player too. While they were gone me, my sister, and brother played Minecraft on our server. In the evening we watched Aliens and as usual my dad sat through nearly all of it on his phone. Everyone's always dissing zoomers for being addicted to their phones but its really a mixed generations issue. 

Thursday, my mum and dad left early to catch his plane out of Bordeaux. Me, Mo, and Marta went to the Noz and Marta found herself some stuff. She was most excited about a Mandalorian Funko Pop. I am a Funk Pop hater so I would usually dissuade her but since he didn't have those beady eyes I let it slide. We bought a frozen pizza and put bacon on it. We finally watched the Ryan Gosling Blade Runner because Mo has been badgering us about it for literal years. It was fine. I can tell why its popular with "introspective" nerdy dudes mostly. And my brother likes it because it's really giving Ergo Proxy weirdness.

I was pretty good on Friday, read for once. Worked on a new microsite that I hope to introduce sometime in April. Prepared lunch. I feel like I'm going to have to abandon my visual novel plans this year, its just not coming along at all. We also re-watched Stick It, I am obsessed with that movie.

On Saturday me and my sister went to the second hand store nearby our house. She went to bed so late so she was grumpy when she first woke up. My brother too. She found herself a denim miniskirt that was cute and a beige coat. My brother got flowers and a chocolate for my mum and sister but I didn't want any. I kind of hate bouquets. They feel so wasteful. So anytime someone wants to get me one, I really would rather they get me anything else. A potted plant is way better. 

In the afternoon we met up with Tom and hung out at our town's park with some snacks. My sister and her friends went out too. When we started walking towards oour house I realized we forgot to take the spare keys! The worst. Luckily my sister is a genius so she hid them for us. We got it and had some tea and decided to watch a movie. We watched Barbie because Mo hadn't seen it yet. I realized only later that Barbie for Women's day was such a weak choice but I kind of didn't even notice we did that. Its a fun movie but dislike it if I'm honest. Verilybitchie had a good video about it and the shallow plastic feminism. 

It was fun with Tom though and he left about 8-ish. His mum called to make sure he was safe and he was annoyed that she was treating him like a kid. I remember one time when I was seventeen and I forgot to call her when we were out drinking. I come back half-sober at midnight and she was mad as hell. And I was like, I'm a grown ass person, stop treating me like a baby, blah blah blah... I was pretty immature. 

On Sunday me and Mo went to do our cleaning job. He vacuumed and I stayed for longer because I had to mop and wipe down like 10 big rooms. I also did all the toilet, sink, and tub cleaning. I used to mop an office and it felt way easier. I was exhausted when I got back. 

Everything feels like its going by so fast that I can barely catch a glimpse of it, never mind actually keeping up. Would be nice to have a normal brain that can be programmed to do the right thing, even if its not all the time. Well, that just isn't meant for me, I guess. Not like I believe in destiny or anything, but I'm just being realistic. I'm not made for greatness and most days it feels like a relief and not like a let down. 

If there aren't any pictures on this post as you're reading this, its because I'm still having issues with connecting my phone to the PC. If there are pics, ignore this! 

This week I could not stop listening to the entire OC albums list. I have actually been in love with these mixes before I ever thought to watch the show. So, I'm picking my fave song from all the songs put together. Paint the Silence by the South, so underrated, post-britpop masterpiece.

{2025} Spring Goals

Spring Goals 2025

──────── ୨୧ ────────

Hey, welcome back to my quarterly 

goals and wishes check-in. Here I 

take a look at my goals for the year

and figure how far along I am in com-

pleting them. Wish me luck this spring!

──────── ୨୧ ────────

 Goal #1: Get A Job

Update: Still issues with the

bank. I'm at a stand-still. 

☐ March: Letter to bank.

☐ April: Receive residency card.

☐ May: ???

Goal #2: French

Update: Studied but did not hit

 all the goals I wanted to. 

 ☐ March: Cover A2 chapters.

☐ April: Help my sister.

☐ May: Take sample exams.

 Goal #3: Health

Update: I have been feeling better 

but my diet is still kind of poor.

☐ March: Daily stretching.

☐ April: More walks.

☐ May: ???

Goal #4: My Comic

Update: The current project is 

actually a visual novel.

☐ March: Complete Nanoreno.

☐ April: 'Enemy' comic project.

☐ May: Develop Mermaid characters.

 Goal #5: JS/Python

Update: Currently not learning anything

new. In March I will learn Renpy.

☐ March: Learn Renpy.

☐ April: JS Basics.

☐ May: ???

Goal #6: Video Diary

Update: I am looking to buy a 

digicam and figure out how to transfer

videos from my camcorder.

☐ March: Nothing.

☐ April: Film something daily.

☐ May: Film some prompts.

 Goal #7: My Site

 Update: All is going well, need to 

continue updates and adding missing pages. 

☐ March: Updates only.

☐ April: Video Club microsite.

☐ May: Collections page.

Goal #8: Blogs

 Update: Need to do a lot of catching up.

☐ March: Missed French & media blogs.

☐ April: Fashion A-Z.

☐ May: ???

 Goal #9: Screentime

Update: Not a good month for this, let's do

better in Spring.

☐ March: No YouTube during week.

☐ April: Only 1 hour for phone.

☐ May: YT only on weekends. Limited videos.

Goal #10: ???

???

──────── ୨୧ ────────

Small Goals

 ──────── ୨୧ ────────

CD/DVD Collection

I picked up 3 DVDs and 4 CDs in

January. I want to order some CDs 

from Discogs in spring.

Buy an Xbox 360

I actually had the money to do this but

we really needed it for other stuff so this

will have to wait.

Jailbreak Banana

I'm giving up on this because it just

doesn't seem worthwhile with the 

phone's OS being basically abandon-

ed. I instead want to collect more flips.

Fairyary

I failed. I only drew 2 fairy characters

and didn't even finish them. The new de-

signs are pretty cool though.

200 New Movies

I only watched 15 new movies in January 

and February, which isn't great  because

I need to watch at least 16 films a month

to reach 200 movies in 2025. 

10 Fiction Books

I'm still reading Three Body Problem and 

didn't finish a single fiction book in the 

winter. I need to speed it up.

10 Non-Fiction Books

I finished only one non-fiction book this 

winter, Michael Parenti's Blackshirts and

Reds, it was awesome.

Digital Camera 

I really, really want one but I can't just-

ify the cost right now. The one I want

is about 100 euros plus a little shipping. 

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We'll Be The Same As Before {2025 Week #9}

Hey. How's it hanging? Week 9 of the year is at an end, it feels like time is running away from me. Monday was as usual, a bad day. I did make a pretty nice dinner, finish my Elliott fanlisting and started watching What Did You Eat Yesterday. 

It made me confront that maybe I do actually like cooking. For some reason I still have some residue of internalized misogyny that makes me think I can't enjoy what some people see as "womanly" activities. Or maybe I'm just not a great cook so there's no point saying I like it. But I kind of do. When you cook food you're excited for, its a special moment of the day. 

We're having strange weather.

I was back to studying on Tuesday after the mess that was last weekend. I also took a little walk to the Noz and picked up the cutest Moomin notebook that came with a little key chain. I love it. Also found a Kaiser Chief's CD that I actually already have but it's at grandma's house so I probably wont see it for the next decade. My visual novel for Nanoreno is being prepared but the rules are that you cant start anything that will be in the final project before March.

He's the best!

I had a meeting with my social worker on Wednesday. She's real nice and helpful and she helped me schedule a meeting with a person from an organization that helps foreigners with all the documents and stuff. I'm still waiting for my letter from Banque de France. I also started the O.C. today. What beautiful trash! I have listened to the official soundtracks for close to a decade now but never actually watched the show. I actually decided to after seeing a clip on Alice's site where Seth and Summer argue about Death Cab. I love Death Cab. Studied too. My eyes have been kind of hurting recently, I think I'm at the PC way too much but all my hobbies are here so I'm trapped. Still, need to touch more grass, no argument against that. 

Did my make up for once.

On Thursday my mum left to Bordeaux to go pick up my dad. He's coming for my sister's birthday, she's turning fourteen. Last we talked in person we were on good terms but we had an argument on Whatsapp because he is a conniving shit. Anyway, I let bygones be bygones and when he arrived we were fine. Finally he brought the hard drives he has been promising for ages! The reason we don't get on well is because we don't really know each other. He hasn't been in my life since I was twelve, I'd see him for a week or two every two years maybe. It's always weird having a near stranger get upset with you or reprimand you as if he's your family, never mind that you're pushing 26 and haven't been a kid for years. But honestly I already feel nothing about this situation we have in the family, I'm just keeping things civil.

On Friday we had a pretty lazy day because everyone was so tired from yesterday. Dad made some very fancy burritos so that was nice, him and mum mostly did some stuff in town and got ready for my sister's birthday trip to Spain. I'm not going just because I need a little space to be alone and catch up on missed tasks. 

Saturday was my sister's birthday, they left kind of late, at about 10 AM. I went to Noz again and got 4 more CDs. Awesome CDs! Feeder, Embrace, Taking Back Sunday, and Manic Street Preachers, each for 2 euro! What a steal. I watched Lemonade Mouth during lunch, I had a turkey sandwich. Did not enjoy it. I got some things done but a huge migraine started at the worst possible time. Before bed I watched half of Charlie's Angels. I was not impressed.

Marta and her cake.

Sunday, I woke up early to finish Charlie's Angels and I actually appreciated the camp much more in the light of day. See, your mood or health can seriously affect how much you can enjoy parody, satire, camp, or anything really. I worked on a lot of web stuff and prepared a notebook for Nanoreno. Everyone arrived pretty late, they brought me a cold McDonlands burger and a solar-powered Maneki-neko. I also got my sister a Death Note mug from Noz.

Not worthy of the fashion blog, but a bit cute.

 And so ends the week and the month of February. I will not miss it, it was terrible. Honestly, the future is not promising but I'm not making any predictions. This week I offer you one of my fave bands of all time, Rival Schools. This is 69 Guns.

Wishing For... {2025 Week #8}

The week started pretty great. I woke up on Monday, early, got the e-reader out and got through a few chapters of Three Body Problem. About 9 AM I sat down and studied French for a few hours, did lots of exercises (my pen even ran out!). Monique gave my mum a printer as a birthday present a few days ago and today I finally set it up. It works great, it's an Epson. 

I updated my missed posts and some days in my diary, then I tried out the scanner feature on the printer by scanning a few of my notebooks. Specifically, their covers. Because I have no pictures for this week either, they scans will be the visual stimulation for this entry.

Kitty cats!

Ancient Muji flipbook.

My fave brand, Our Story Begins.

An oldie.

Ancient!

Very wizard-y.

This one rocks.

Some of these are unused but they are all super old, I bought them when I was still a teen and living in China. Good times. I'm going to make a page for my notebook collection on my site because I have so many and also I'm still addicted to them.

Tuesday was okay too because I studied as well. This may seem like a very mediocre achievement but as someone who struggles to even get started it was pretty good for me. We finished the first season of Minecraft Storymode and honestly, it has no business being that good. Lukas is best boy, according to a consensus of my sister, my brother, and I.

On Wednesday we had an appointment with a new social worker, she's a very nice lady and she helped me to get another appointment at Banque de France. I also have to get an appointment with ALIFS which is another organization that helps foreigners with random issues. 

The cheap and scummy bank option that I was trying to get to work failed. I showed up to a convenience store to pick up the card but the guy refused to give it to me if I didn't have a permanent ID card (titre de sejour). I only have my temporary ID right now (attestation de prolongation) and apparently it's not good enough for a regular and online bank alike. I'm fucking pissed. I'm not gonna lie I wanted to bust a hole through some wall like a white guy but I refrained. It's just getting so stupid. The employment office and the social workers tell me my document is fine for work, study, and the bank but in practice I just get refusal and refusal. Is it like this on purpose? So people can't get their welfare? I don't even want it... I just want to start working already. I'm lucky that I live with my family because I can't get a job without a bank account and I'm not getting any welfare right now either. Yeah, if I was alone I would probably have to do shady and illegal work like many people. Then you get stuck there. I'm mad as hell.

I took the earlier train to Agen on Thursday because my appointment was at 10 AM. I mostly walked around, dropped by the bookstore to get two new pens. Browsed the H&M but honestly everything they had sucked. I'm also trying to buy only second hand now. At my appointment the lady working the desk was pretty surprised that my case has been going on since February of last year and that the banks keep refusing me. They often are. But at least she didn't dismiss me like the last guy and said they would provide some kind of a document that may help. I'm just so worn out already. I;m this close to running into the woods and living under the foliage. Fuck money, fuck banks, they are literally the devil. At least I had a nice lunch at a bakery before my train home.

I found one pic I took this week! It's Simona being insane.

Unhinged.

 Friday was uneventful. I spent a long time adding stuff to my site, like a more easy to use media log. Also finally made my media blog, where I'm going to keep track of stuff I've seen, listened to, etc. It turned out pretty cute.

Frutiger Metro adjacent?

On Saturday my period started and I only had enough Nurofen for a few hours which sucks! Luckily it wasn't too severe but I did still spend the entire day lying down. The good thing about period days is that they are movie days. I watched Bounce Ko Gals and August In The Water, I've been meaning to for a while. We also started season 2 of Minecraft Storymode which was fun. 

Sunday was a little better but I still felt pretty low. I've just been super strange lately. Easy to irritate and not very forgiving. Also feel like I'm let down a lot, I think some of that isn't actually happening but some of it is. We as human beings are super insensitive to the little ways we hurt each other deeply. So why can't I just get over it? Especially when I'm no better. I don't know. Guess 'cuz it hurts.  

This week, I present Susumu Yokota's Three Ripple. He is better known for the more minimal but intriguing Sakura (2000) or the experimental and fantastical Symbol (2004), but Sound of Sky (2002) is highly underrated and worth listening to. It's probably Yokota at his danciest. 

Le Petit Blog #4: Mon Avis Sur Les Films

Bonjour, les lecteurs ! Est-ce que tu aimes les films ? Moi, j'adore les films, en particulier les films des années 2000 et 1990. Ces décennies sont mes favoris, mais j'aime les films plus récents et plus anciens aussi. J'apprécie tous les genres, mais j'aime beaucoup les drames, les films de science-fiction, les films d'art d'essai et les films d'animation. Je n'aime pas les films très populaires, je préfère les films plus obscurs et sous-estimés. Je pense que les meilleurs personnages sont ceux qui ont beaucoup de problèmes et qui ne sont pas parfaits. Dans un autre post en futur, je voudrais écrire sur mes films préférés. 

Le Petit Blog #3: Quand J'étais Professeur

Bonjour tout le monde ! Aujourd'hui, je vais écrire un post sur mon ancien travail. Avant 2019 ou 2020, j'ai travaillé comme professeur d'anglais. Généralement, j'ai enseigné les enfants d'âges entre 5 et 16. C'est un métier dur. J'ai travaillé en Chine pour beaucoup d'années et ce temps me manque. J'ai aimé les moments quand j'ai pris le bus pour le centre-ville et quand je suis allé déjeuner après un matin occupé. Cette ville me manque vraiment. Quand j'ai quitté la Chine, j'ai arrêté mon travail comme professeur et j'ai commencé mon travail comme animateur 2D. Maintenant, je pense si je travaillerai comme professeur encore.